


Crown Prince Soobin and His Sex Tutor Yeonjun

by HugsNotDrugs



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, Backstory, Bottom Choi Yeonjun, Childhood Memories, Choi Soobin-Centric, Developing Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Flustered Soobin, Heavy Angst, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mild Angst, Morning Wood, Non-Chronological, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Original Male Characters - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Porn With Plot, Power Bottom, Redemption, Repressed Memories, Selective Amnesia, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Smut, Soobin is a virgin, Top Choi Soobin, Unreliable Narrator, Yeonjun is Soobin's sex tutor, Yeonjun is not, its turning into a real sobfest yall but theres a way Out, mention of miscarriage, you heard it here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:20:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 30,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25577968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HugsNotDrugs/pseuds/HugsNotDrugs
Summary: The Choi clan pride themselves on sexual prowess. The first consummation of the royal king and his consort is treated as a public ceremony for the whole kingdom to celebrate. By marriage, the heir to the throne would have some experience under his belt and be ready to light a hot one. The crown prince Soobin, however, is a total virgin and in danger of embarrassing himself when he is to be wed. Therefore, a mentor by the name of Yeonjun is hired to help out the prince. Will Soobin finally be prepared for his grand performance? Will Yeonjun, with his sexiness and loaded backstory, derail the whole operation?
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 282
Kudos: 512





	1. daddy emperor is a little worried for his son

**Author's Note:**

> The ideas for this started at midnight and I penned around 900 words by hand on the toilet. A story where the premise is not supposed to be taken too seriously, but hopefully I can develop the characters and dramatic scenes well. I plan to, after all!

The tradition of the Choi clan when it comes to the construct of the purity of virginity was to nullify it entirely. Rather, the young noblemen of the royal bloodline would best seek to hone their skills in lovemaking, so that upon formal courtship the Choi name rings clear, unsullied by the incompetence of a virginal heir to the throne. Incompetence that was currently rolling off the sloping shoulders of the clan’s crown price, Choi Soobin. His parents, proud emperor and empress, looked over their eldest with exasperation as he stood at their feet, peering nervously up into their eyes. 

At 21, the prince was nearly due to be wed, yet the boy remained untested in sexual prowess, having spectacularly failed every opportunity lobbed his way. There was no shortage of men and women who wanted Choi Soobin, the prince just happened to be so bashful his instinct caused him to squirm out of the grasp of sexual contact like a frightened squirrel.

At their wits’ end, the emperor barked out a fateful order: “Call upon the young men and women who are virile in this kingdom. Ask for someone fitting for sexual mentorship to the crown prince.” He sighed inwardly. “And… try to put it gracefully.”


	2. Soobin meets a charismatic devil boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soobinie meets 5 lovelies, but only has eyes for one of them *heart heart*

In a week’s time, the servants scoured, scouted, and screened the young men and women of the kingdom, and assembled the final group of five for the prince to choose from. All were beautiful, scholarly, and mature, perfect fits that had jumped through the hoops to weed out those with unfit dispositions. Soobin, forcibly dragged from his room and making an unprincely fuss, made it as far as seven paces from the candidates.

All were elegantly clothed in palace-provided robes; they turned towards Soobin with expectant and polite smiles. Meanwhile, Soobin kept his eyes glued to the ground, trying not to quake like a leaf. 

In the silence, someone quietly snickered.

Soobin’s head whipped up in horror at the insolent sound, seemingly kicked into action. He couldn’t invite someone into his home who looked down on him. As he turned his head to the source of the sound, his eyes locked on the most handsome face he had ever seen with plush lips caught in the act, still upturned at the corners. The candidate’s countenance was, at the same time, intriguingly exotic yet comfortingly familiar. He held Soobin’s gaze easily, the smirk beginning to broaden despite himself.

Beneath his lighthearted demeanor, Soobin only saw pools of darkness in the man’s eyes, the pertness of his expression laiden with intent. Soobin felt a chill run down his spine. All bravado gone, he let his eyes fall to the hollow of the man’s collarbone, tracing the trim of his opulent robes.

The candidates shifted in place. He didn’t have to pick him. But in the moment, he had only seen the snickering man’s face and not the others, was somewhat scared and entranced by the peering, knowing eyes. 

“Your name?” He blurted out.

“Choi Yeonjun, your majesty.” The man said, bowing as he did. Soobin looked back at his parents.

“Then, I choose you, Choi Yeonjun.” Soobin declared, trying to keep the shakiness from his voice. The four remaining candidates bowed in silence and were escorted out by the servants. In the hall, Soobin could hear their mumbling, miffed at his near-spontaneous bias. He hadn’t even seen their faces.

Meanwhile, Soobin was beginning to feel the weight of his actions, mind reeling as he bowed to his parents, Yeonjun following suit, before the two moved out of the throne room and to the wing of the crown prince. Soobin swallowed thickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhhh heartu eyes!!! yeonjunnie is perhaps a little too charismatic at the moment.  
> thanks for reading! i appreciate any feedback and love <3


	3. Yeonjun makes several first moves (but Soobin tries his best too)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another round of late night writing, trying to jack up the word count to something legit xD i have the story outlined for y'all, but there's no clear ending in sight. i'll be adding more tags as the story goes~ i do have a hard time writing explicitly but it will come i promise!! also chapter lengths are wildly inconsistent but thats Just the Way i Am

“Your majesty. How did you decide so quickly?” Yeonjun asked as the two walked side by side in the open corridors to Soobin’s living quarters. Servants darted glances at the new face, a particularly rare sight for a private prince as Soobin. The prince registered that Yeonjun’s voice was high yet full, with a self-confident lilt upwards. It suited him completely, as Soobin watched the slight bounce in Yeonjun’s assured steps. Everything about the man fit him to a tee. Already the rich robes fit him like a glove, and he inhaled gulps of the palace gardens’ flowery scent as they walked past. 

When Soobin could offer nothing but a thin smile, Yeonjun took it as an opportunity to continue talking. “To say the least, I am flattered, and I’m eager to be of service to your majesty.”

“About that, Yeonjun.” Soobin finally managed, though his voice was unseemingly crackley. “I know what my parents want, and I will not shrink from my obligation, but if I were to ever bring you discomfort-” Good, he had at least prepared these lines, to rid himself of the guilt that rose in his throat like bile at the thought of using anyone as a… a ~~sex mentor~~ , some experiment, untreasured. He did not even finish before Yeonjun barked out a laugh.

“Soobin-sii! Ah- your majesty, pardon me, for all that it took to bring me to your side, rest assured there is no discomfort I cannot handle.” Yeonjun’s handsome face was curved in a smile again, a halo of light framing his face from the evening sun. He reached out a strong hand to pat the crown prince on the shoulder.

“You can call me Soobin-sii, I prefer it.” Soobin mumbled. Yeonjun’s touch seared itself into his arm. The two arrived at Soobin’s living quarters. Here, the number of servants grew even more sparse. The prince led the way to his tea table, where he poured tea for himself and Yeonjun. Instead of sitting across, Yeonjun seated himself adjacent to Soobin, elbows subtly touching whenever he set down his cup.

“This is my favorite tea.” Soobin said quietly, “the leaves are harvested from the tangerine trees in my garden.” He took a whiff appreciatively, eyes filled with softness. Yeonjun’s eyes followed his movements as he sipped from his own cup. The tea really was spectacular, its honey-tinged scent reminded him of playing with friends in the summer sun when he was young. The room fell into silence with the intermittent sip. The tranquility pillowing his thoughts, Soobin let reality sink in. The man at his elbow was here to eventually have sex with him. The first step should be getting to know each other, right? He tried to let the flavor of the tea soothe him so he didn’t feel like running away.

“Yeonjun.” Soobin tried. “How old are you?”

“I turned 30 last week.” The man replied with complete nonchalance. The prince’s eyes widened into saucers as he stuttered: “I- I really couldn’t tell.” Yeonjun burst into laughter, one palm slapping the tea table, making it shake slightly. 

Yeonjun took a loud gulp of tea, still merrily chuckling, the tips of his white teeth showing. “Soobin-sii! Did you think they would let an old geezer into your home? You’re too polite for a prince. No, I am only 22.” Soobin was getting used to his smile. And at the same time, Yeonjun was getting used to being next to Soobin, situating himself in an environment far more lavish than the dirt paths he knew as a common villager.

“Is that so,” Soobin laughed quietly along, the tips of his ears turning red at his own naivety. He shifted nervously in his seat. So Yeonjun was just a year older. How come he seemed so mature and confident? As Yeonjun reclined back, relaxed after finishing his tea with a word of thanks, Soobin couldn’t keep his eyes from sneaking glances at the man’s lean figure. The traditional robes exposed a small strip of bare skin down his chest; Soobin could see that his skin was hairless and delicate, with a soft divet in the middle.

Soobin admitted to himself that he liked his throat a lot. The milky skin there had stretched with each swallow of tea, rippling with the swell of Yeonjun’s Adam’s apple. His eyes flicked up to Yeonjun’s face and was taken aback by the darkness in his gaze. It flickered away, barely having been detected. As ice to fire, Yeonjun broke into a wolfish grin, the tip of his tongue sticking out between his teeth. Soobin had been caught, and did not have the same charisma as him. 

“So you are my elder,” Soobin said hastily. “Should I call you hyung?” 

“I can’t ask a prince to call me hyung, isn’t that just hubris? I’ll get smited.” Yeonjun jested in return. Soobin conceded with a tilt of his head. 

“Ah, then, it would not make sense for you to call me -sii, in this case I… I defer to you after all.” Soobin replied, slightly hesitant. “Ah but- it is not my intention to consummate with you… Erm, I mean-”

“Really? ‘Cause it’s mine with you.” Yeonjun interjected without missing a beat. Soobin nearly yelped, covering his eyes with both hands. He could feel his face going red, Yeonjun metaphorically bowled him over at every turn. It was his own fault for staying sheltered even in his teens, when he had his first nocturnal emissions and reached sexual maturity. While those in his family had boldly seeked out interactions during rest time to hone their art of lovemaking, he was still a blushing virgin, overly preoccupied with the notion of the sanctification of sex, even with partners not planned for marriage. At least, that was the scolding he regularly got from noona.

The Choi clan did not treat sex frivolously. Rather, they honor and celebrate it and put it on display when it comes time for the most important occasion. That is to say, the only virginity that matters is the first, authentic impression of the heir and heir(ess)’s coupling. Anyhow, it was only the secondary source of Soobin’s anxieties. The primary reason was that he really, really did not have it in him to be intimate with anyone, least of all with a dashing, wily fox of a man called Yeonjun. He was never able to pinpoint the growing uneasiness in him as time passed. Did he feel this way when he was small?

When Soobin uncovered his face, he was startled once more by Yeonjun’s nose hovering mere centimeters from his, rosy lips parted just enough to let out a hint of the sweet scent lingering from the tea. Up close, the qualities that first caught Soobin’s interest were enhanced. Yeonjun looked so very dangerous, yet Soobin could almost follow the lines of his face to piece together a comforting memory. And since the only changes to his visage were visible lightening up and increasing familiarity, he was still, if not more, incredibly handsome.

“Soobin-ah…” Yeonjun’s breath was warm, billowing across Soobin’s own mouth which was hanging slightly agape, still frozen by the brazenness of the man before him. His rich voice had lowered by octaves into a sultry beckoning, full lips pursing to form the “oo” of Soobin’s name, like it was supposed to sit comfortably there, his name making its home on Yeonjun’s tongue. Yeonjun’s eyelids fluttered closed, accentuating his long lashes as he tilted his head and leaned in.

“I can’t. Not with you.” Soobin breathed, suddenly rising from his seat. The tea kettle and tableware clattered and seemed too to shiver at Yeonjun’s advances. The sun was setting.

“Yeonjun-hyung,” he said fair too loudly; he couldn’t hear himself over the blood rushing in his ears. “Let me show you to your quarters.” Soobin trotted out of the room quickly, eager to put some distance between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -sii, honorific used to address someone you don't know well, or someone of a higher rank. i thought about using -seja, but decided that's like saying crown prince crown prince so i didn't use it,, and then i thought about -nari but he's a full fledged prince and not a nobleman... and then i gave up!  
> -nocturnal emission: fancy term for wet dream. i also wanted to use laryngeal prominence to replace Adam's apple (as i took care to use centimeter descriptors instead of inches for consistency already so why not eliminate colloquials too) but decided it was a lot more niche so didn't use it. never sacrifice clarity!
> 
> i try to keep soobin on this formal ye olde speak as long as he can before he is totally derailed of course, and yeonjunnie makes himself right at home! that trait might fit hyuka or beomgyu better, but this is a fantasy story involving my faves so don't touch me
> 
> love you all, thanks for feedback!


	4. nothing suspicious nothing happening here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit shorter than i planned, but rather this was going to be one chapter that i had to break in two cause it was long. writing is tedious but reading is so fast! something is brewing ohohoho~ next chapter is gonna be f. u. n.

“Yeonjun-hyung, you can sleep and study here.” Soobin showed Yeonjun his room, the guest room that was rarely occupied since Soobin grew up and (friendly and respectfully) kicked out noona, claiming he no longer needed her guidance. Yeonjun oo'ed and aah'ed at the appropriate moments as Soobin carefully walked through the different aspects of the room, the silk decor and golden thread linings on the upholstery, things Yeonjun probably sees once in a blue moon. The bed was modestly sized to give the rest of the room more space, but it too was fitted and draped in fine silk. In a happening of lovely circumstance, the color scheme of the room matched Yeonjun himself, decked in the same brilliant shade of robe. In the corner was a writing desk of fine wood, and a bookcase of novels and poetry noona handpicked behind the scenes.

"I hope the room is to your liking." Soobin said meekly. It was a beautiful room, but surely no replacement for the comforts of home. His heart fell as he saw Yeonjun's expression. As he suspected, Yeonjun’s tight smile betrayed his true feelings. No amount of finery could truly dampen the wariness of being in a new place. Even Soobin knew this, in an oblique way. After all, he himself was diffident to new situations, did not like the spontaneity that life so often manifested. Sometimes he felt it made him less of a prince, that he wasn’t prepared to be a leader of his people.

“Soobin,” Yeonjun said, walking to the writing desk and running his fingers over the munbangsawoo, an assortment of traditional writing tools. “You’re so thoughtful.” He finished, shooting a perfectly pulled off, charming smile at the prince.

“It’s not me,” Soobin corrected. “The hard work was setting up and that was all done by noona.”

“Noona?” Yeonjun questioned.

“Ah, Kim Jiwoo, you could call her my nanny? She’s wise and patient, but she is relatively young herself. At my insistence that I had grown up, she doesn’t sleep in this room anymore. So, she knows it well and set it up for you.” Soobin explained, admiration creeping in his brightened voice as he spoke with affection about his long-time caretaker.

“She sounds sweet, I think I met her on my way in.” Yeonjun recalled a matronly woman in a graceful updo arranging and hosting the five candidates before they met the prince, caring hands gently adjusting each person as if they were her own children. She had chosen his robes with a smart twinkle in her eye, held it up to his complexion and murmured: “Yes, this one is good.”

Across the palace grounds, the metallic ring of a gong signified dinnertime. The royals and their immediate family ate together, their closest servants in an adjacent room. 

“Do you like him so far?” The empress asked Soobin.

“Yes, mother.” Soobin replied, avoiding eye contact. Actually, Soobin knew no one cared much who exactly he did the deed with, so long his final suitor and ceremony were perfect. Still, he was grateful that everyone pitched in to make the process easier for him, at least in their minds.

“Good, you know that you’re due to meet possible suitors in the coming weeks. It’s about time you grow into your shoes. Work together and do well.” His father added. Soobin couldn’t keep his expression from souring. Suddenly, it was harder to breathe.

“So soon?” He asked. His parents nodded.

“You’ll be good now.” His mother stated sternly, raising a cold eyebrow.

“Yes, I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> noona- sister, as addressed by a familiar male
> 
> i live and breathe for yeonjun stg i looove him and writing him...  
> also i updated the tags as plot and scenes begin to solidify... yeah its almost all tags about sex im sorry  
> thanks for all the love <3


	5. imagine if love was, like, constipated in soobin's heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!!!! i am finally back sorry for going on a writing craze then the sudden stop. i have to think carefully now about each step i take.

“Soobin-ah,” a mumbled voice stirred Soobin from unrestful sleep. 

“Soobin.” It repeated lowly, with an added finger pulling at his sleeve.

“Yeonjun-hyung?” Soobin rubbed the sleepiness from his eyes. It was pitch dark outside, save for the bright glow of the moon shining through the thin film windows. A late spring breeze rolled by to rattle them gently. Yeonjun stood at his bedside with a pout on his face, clad in fresh linen nightclothes the servants prepared for him. Soobin was taken aback by the wetness in his eyes.

“Are you alright? What’s wrong?” He sat up quickly, throwing the covers back.

“I can’t sleep. Can I sleep with you?” Yeonjun pleaded in a whisper, sinking down to kneel childishly at eye-level with Soobin. At this point, Soobin had several things to regret, but as a good host, he wordlessly lifted his blanket and let Yeonjun in beside him. 

“Aren’t you an adult,” Soobin groaned. His eyes blearily stared into the ceiling. “I’m not stupid, you know.” Yeonjun slowly traversed the spacious bed, daringly scooting himself closer and closer to Soobin. Each maneuver made him sink slightly into the silken fabric of the mattress.

“I know who you are.” Soobin continued, barely coherent as his sleepiness began to take over again.

“Oh yeah? Who am I?” Yeonjun taunted, eyes now glittering, fixated on Soobin’s response.

“You’re a trickster. You keep toying with me.” Soobin rubbed his eyes hard. He let his head drop to the left, coming nose to nose with Yeonjun. He was too tired to care. “You’re just toying with me. I’m a soft-hearted prince who is incompetent at what is expected of him, and you are here to bear witness to it.” His soft dark eyes stared deeply into Yeonjun’s, who quietly shifted close. Soobin could feel his body heat through their thin nightgowns. In the moonlight, Yeonjun’s expression was soft, sympathetic to the prince. He reached out a hand to stroke Soobin’s cheek.

“Soobin, you’re stronger than you expect, and wiser than you dreamed.” Yeonjun pulled Soobin to his chest, hugging him tightly and stroking his hair. Soobin’s arm closed instinctively around the elder, dully shocked at himself but inhibition having worn off in the night. He decided to let his head rest against the elder. Already, Yeonjun’s scent had begun to morph with the smells of the palace.

“I’m a fool.” Soobin muttered, his tears dripping to make a wet spot on Yeonjun’s clothes. “Forgive me, please don’t speak of it again.” He hastily wiped the dampness from Yeonjun’s shirt and rolled over to his other side, his back to the other man. Faced away, he attempted to clear his thoughts. After a pause: “I’m sorry Yeonjun. I don’t think I have it in me.” His voice broke. "When I think about it I get so tense and can't breathe, but it's not you, God, you're gorgeous but I just- can't do it. Probably ever. I'm broken." The last two words came out as a whimper, and Yeonjun's heart cracked.

With a rustle of movement, Yeonjun embraced Soobin from behind, burying his nose into the crook of Soobin’s neck, inhaling deeply. The length of their bodies were pressed together, and Soobin could feel Yeonjun’s hot breath on his sensitive skin. Yeonjun’s large hands gripped gently around his thin waist, his fingers flexing. _Wait, wait_. Yeonjun probably meant to be comforting, but this was far too much contact. He let go as soon as Soobin showed signs of wriggling from his grasp, his heart thumping from the intimacy.

“Why?” Yeonjun asked, much more simply than Soobin was prepared for, if he was at all. He could smell the tea they had, the still-lingering scent of tangerine even after he and Yeonjun had washed, felt tears coming to his eyes at the familiar scent.

“I don’t know.” Soobin replied pitifully. He was being indulgent. He should stop crying, control his breathing, move on. It was not the time to give in to himself, not when doing _that_ would make things a lot easier for all parties involved.

“You should figure it out.” Yeonjun replied practically. “I can’t get you to do it with me, that’s fine. What of your parents? Your eventual suitor and consort?” 

“What of them…” Soobin murmured. When there was only silence in return to his non-response, Soobin let his exhaustion overtake him as he drifted to sleep. Yeonjun silently watched him in the darkness.

_”Choi Soobin? Are you a prince or just a nobody like me?”_

_“Shh, I’m not supposed to be here.” Soobin held up a finger to his lips, eyes darting around. “Noona wanted me to be home earlier to study mathematics.”_

_“Aren’t you fancy.” The other boy smirked. He expertly kicked up the leather ball at his feet and tucked it under his arm, disturbing the grass. “Wanna play some ball? She won’t find you here.”_

_Soobin smiled excitedly. “Yeah.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really really wanted to deliver smut or at least a fun suggestive scene but ToT plot said no. so... it might come next chapter... it might not... this is no longer porn with plot this is just plot ft. porn am soz
> 
> my heart kinda hurt writing a sad soobin ngl i poured my insecurities into this pretty sure
> 
> also mc soobin is king i cant
> 
> love yall <3


	6. this one for moa

The final wisps of Soobin’s dream evaporated with the rising sun.

Soobin woke up to the din of morning as well as pressure in the front of his pants. As a healthy young male, the sensation was not unfamiliar, save for the additional warm body tucked into the crook of his left elbow. Stifling his panic, he attempted to adjust himself with his free hand, willing his erection to go away with intense concentration, feeling his face heat up. He darted a glance at the man beside him who snored softly, breaths floating in and out and tickling Soobin's neck and curled gently on his side. 

He was beautiful. Soobin could allow himself that one sentiment. Though a rather short night of sleep left Yeonjun's hair tousled and his under eye darkened, his expression was soft and open, the fingertips of one hand finding their way to graze the side of Soobin’s chest. Beyond his flirtatiousness and brimming confidence, Yeonjun was still quite plainly a boy, his youthful expression innocent in slumber. Soobin felt guilty for his jab at him earlier; it was entirely out of line to have rambled on and on about himself. Still, his moment of vulnerability led to a treasured exchange. The prince shivered at the memory of the other man’s touch, so gentle and kind for a stranger. He reached out a tentative finger to stroke Yeonjun’s cheek, the skin there soft and fresh like peach fuzz.

It was the first time Soobin had ever woken up with someone else in his bed, and he spent a moment just pondering the things that came before and what could come after. It was a nice feeling, he supposed, to not be alone. 

Yeonjun shifted in his sleep, his hand brushing suddenly across Soobin’s nipple and moving down his lean stomach. Soobin’s member twitched in response to the sensation and his body tensed. Where Yeonjun touched sent ripples of heat throughout Soobin’s body. Yeonjun pressed the length of his body to the other man, trapping him with his body even in unconsciousness. Soobin stayed still as a corpse and concentrated on counting the slats of the ceiling. 

A small, wanton moan escaped Yeonjun’s lips, and Soobin watched in amazement as those full rosy lips pressed against the skin of his neck and parted, sharp teeth grazing just slightly against the sensitive flesh at his jugular. Soobin sucked in a shaky breath, fists clenching around his blanket. _Wake up. Please don’t wake up._

“-binnie…” Yeonjun moaned raspily, fingers curling around the collar of Soobin's nightshirt. He licked a wet strip up Soobin's neck, making the younger man shudder and gasp as the saliva seared into his skin then cooled.

"Yeonjun." Soobin muttered halfheartedly. "Wake up." Not hearing, the elder draped his leg over Soobin’s, hand now dangerously close to grazing Soobin’s crotch. Alarmed, Soobin began to scoot away as subtly as possible, hand hovering nervously over Yeonjun’s wrist, ready to stop it. Yeonjun let out a groggy hum at the movement, shifting his position.

“Good morning your majesty.” He yawned, droopy eyes blinking languidly, yet already his lips were forming a subtly cheeky smile, as if he had caught Soobin in a dirty act. Thankfully, Yeonjun’s arms removed themselves from contact as he stretched out, inhaling deeply. He turned to Soobin and, without warning, used a deft hand to tidy Soobin’s bedhead, sweeping the dark locks of his forehead to the side.

“I didn’t notice yesterday, but your room smells.” Yeonjun commented.

“Good, I would hope?” Soobin quipped nervously, still a bit shell shocked at Yeonjun’s casual intimacy. 

Yeonjun simply shot him a grin, running his fingers through his own hair as he arose and prepared to go back to his own room to get dressed.

“The crown does not tolerate insolence, you know.” Soobin stated with a stone faced expression, sliding his feet into his slippers. 

“Surely you know I only mean the best.” Yeonjun assured. “It smells like the way a prince should smell.” He glanced down quickly then looked back up at Soobin, grin widening. “A lively prince.”

Soobin followed his gaze down and grit back an expletive with his teeth as he realized his hard-on had sneakily returned as a bulge in the thin fabric of his pants, likely due to the way Yeonjun gave him whiplash with every casually suggestive gesture of his. He turned away in terror and reached haphazardly into his closet for a seemly robe. One of his passages into adult independence had been choosing his own attire, but not before noona had forcefully stuffed it with just about universally flattering pieces. He grabbed a random cream-colored robe and draped it on his arm, letting the long fabric cover everything below his legs as he turned back to the older man.

“I’ve got to change, please take the time to prepare for the day as well.” Soobin said, mustering as much dignity as possible while internally screaming. 

“Enjoy yourself.” Yeonjun winked at Soobin as he left the room, his gait light as ever as he left the flustered prince to fend for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really enjoy early morning introspection yall, soft sleeby boys... yeah
> 
> interviewed my bf about morning wood but i dont think i employed anything i learned here well xD
> 
> your feedback really inspires me thank you!! <3


	7. noona-ah,,, noona-ah!!!! noona save me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> italics indicate a separate scene from the past. r flashbacks reserved for things explicitly shown to the audience… idk

"Your majesty, Yeonjun-sii, can I speak with you? One on one, please." Jiwoo called to the two boys from the center of the court. The two had finished dressing for the morning, Soobin in his cream robes and Yeonjun in aquamarine. They heeded her and came closer, bowing to her tall, imposing figure.

She turned to Soobin first, taking him on a short lap around the flat grassfield. “I need not remind you that you are a prince, act like one and cooperate with Yeonjun. We do have an eventual deadline.”

“Noona!” Soobin said hushedly, running a nervous hand over his neck. “I- I hardly know him, he’s-”

“Are you not getting along?” Jiwoo asked, tilting her head cooly. “No it's, we are but," Soobin spluttered. Jiwoo sighed.

"I know just how you are Soobin, but try your best okay? You will be quite alright if you loosen up for once. After all, I don't see you running away from him just yet." A small smile crept on her face. 

"He grew to be quite handsome, didn't he?" She said, glancing over her shoulder at the young man standing with perfect posture, waiting for them to finish their conversation. Her eyes glittered as Soobin looked at her, slightly confounded.

“I guess he is quite handsome.” Soobin admitted sheepishly, stealing a peek at Yeonjun, the gracefully curved cheekbone of whom was framed by the morning sun.

“Something’s holding you back. We can talk it out whenever you want. I’ll be here for you no matter what.” Jiwoo said with a comforting pat on Soobin’s shoulder. She walked away from the boy, approaching Yeonjun instead.

“I don’t even know what about.” Soobin mumbled under his breath.

Because Soobin did not have any immediate duties- he did soon, the prince worked hard- he seated himself on the stone bench in the court, leaning forward anxiously on his elbows to watch the duo now making their way along the same path he just trod. Their hushed voices carried to his ears faintly in the windless morning, but they were indiscernible. After a moment, he leaned back, closed his eyes, and sighed, the acid in his stomach broiling.

_In the adjacent room, Jiwoo and Yeonjun filled their plates for dinner. Besides the two, the emperor and empress’ helpers claimed seniority and took the table, but Jiwoo elected to sit with Yeonjun instead in the far corner of the room._

_“‘Noona’, huh.” Yeonjun said, stuffing a bite of roasted chicken into his mouth._

_“The prince is my charge, he can call me whatever he wants.” Jiwoo replied._

_“You got soft, Jiwoo-sii.” Yeonjun laughed with his mouth full._

_Unphased, she offered a wry smile in return. “I got you in, didn’t I?” Yeonjun stuck his tongue at her good-naturedly._

_“I would’ve made it in anyway. With these good looks?” He playfully flipped his hair._

_“But for the prince to choose you so quickly out of the pool, why, it’s almost like he recognized you. Or some part of him does.”_

_“You know, standing there, I accidentally laughed.”_

_“I heard in the hall! You absolute fool.”_

_“Hey! It worked out fine. He likes me already.” His expression grew serious. “This is a valuable opportunity, I won’t waste it.”_

_“Everything I do is for the good of the prince. Cross him and you’ll cross me.”_

_“I’ll do my best, noona.”_

“Soobin-sii, I return to your side.” Yeonjun’s rich voice soothed his ear. Soobin opened his eyes.

“No more Soobinie? No more Soobin-ah?” The prince teased lightly. He felt more at ease in the daylight, when he could see the small crinkles that form around Yeonjun’s eyes when he smiles, a subtle dimple, the small reassuring signs that Soobin was doing alright, doing alright. The sunlight made a much friendlier home in his irises than the moonlight did.

Even so, the night was the unfinished sentence, an unanswered question. Soobin let it retreat to the cave of his mind instead, occupying himself instead with the ensuing day’s duties. He quickly rattled off the list in his head, not hearing Yeonjun’s reply as much as loosely following the movements of his red lips as they puckered to form “o”’s and stretched to form “e”’s, hints of gleaming white teeth peeking through.

Just as with dinner, a strike of the gong kept time for breakfast. This signal is really only reserved for those who wake the latest, since serfs, chefs, and cleaners all began the day long ago, slotting pieces of the palace in place and tidying its carpets for the royal family and court. Soobin felt a little sheepish at that, suddenly feeling his privilege facing those immediately at his side. He glanced at Yeonjun, whose expression stayed plain as a lake.

“Boys, don’t forget your end goal.” Jiwoo called gently after them. Soobin looked back at her, one hand clenching and unclenching nervously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TXT KINGS  
> HBDAY TO NINGNING AND CONGRATS ON SORIBADA AWARD!!!! FIGHTING
> 
> ok enough of that, i parsed together some ~interesting conversations~
> 
> hope you like it!! thanks for any feedback, keeps me motivated. good night~


	8. everyone is whipped for soobin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got too excited and banged out this chapter in like half a day. yay productivity!

Kim Jiwoo remembered seeing the pamphlet and applying for the job, still feeling her womb ache from the loss of her own, unborn child less than a month earlier. Her family had been apprehensive, watching her nervously as she gauntly floated about her dwelling, more dead than alive, now with a spring in her step as she packed her poetry books, her stationary and calligraphy brushes modestly in a suitcase, and headed off to the centre of the capital. 

As Soobin’s nanny, Jiwoo suffered a lot of second-hand embarrassment throughout his childhood, but for something such as preparing for the public marriage and ceremony, she couldn’t fault him for his hesistance and awkwardness. Rather, she felt protective of the boy. She loved Soobin, had been with him nearly since birth, marveling at how absolutely tiny and pink his little face was. His own mother barely laid a hand on him, the child passed off to twenty-five year old Jiwoo along with a set of nicer robes for the court and her own room next to the prince’s nursery. 

It wasn’t like his parents didn’t _love_ him, but naturally, the heads of the kingdom were both incredibly busy. And Soobin… well, if you ask his noona— a title Jiwoo proudly donned— he grew up nervous as a result. Always had been a little fussy, asking for attention that Jiwoo eagerly gave, rubbing his back to soothe him to sleep, up until he was a teenager, holding his hand for things he didn’t necessarily need her for. Jiwoo couldn’t help but shower him with all the love she didn’t have a chance to give her own child. 

Of course, all that had to slowly wane away. A prince was a heavy thing to be, let alone the crown prince. Soobin’s studies were less than pristine, and Jiwoo had to put down a firm hand when he snuck off to play, or took naps over second-year arithmetic. She watched him grow strong and mature, maybe a bit private for a future ruler, but he gained the necessary independence Jiwoo was selfishly reluctant to let in, and he was the kindest boy she ever met. Few could look at the tall, handsome prince and find fault, nor would they dare to say it if they did.

All in all, she was proud of the man he grew into. The one department that was unfortunately left, however, was the lack of sexual exploration. As all parents should, Jiwoo did her best to not pry into Soobin’s personal life, yet throughout his life everyone but Soobin silently harbored the notion that this aspect of his life was not his own. When the emperor and empress finally confronted their son and called for intervention, just the short few months before Soobin ought to be married, Jiwoo’s heart sank.

A sex tutor. That was the informal title passed between the servants whenever they talked of the prince’s predicament. The hubbub of the halls grew frivolous and at times sordid, and Jiwoo had to send more than a few angry glares at the giggly maids and the snickering stableboys. She knew their heads were filled with nothing but fluff, too preoccupied with Soobin’s looks and status to offer him anything of substance, yet, wasn’t that the point? Give him the opportunity to feel another human being before the official coupling, swapping no feelings besides youthful lust.

Yes, it was in Soobin’s best interest to find someone as casual as possible, a clean and sterile escapade. Yet when the applications came flowing in and Jiwoo flipped through page after page of expectant men and women’s profiles with weary fingers at her desk, she found herself putting the ones to her personal liking to her right side, and the remainder was sent cascading into the trash after their name was hastily marked down for condolences. She and her subordinates went through just enough to afford in-person interviews with the lucky few, and she was in charge of assembling the final group. Several dozen beautiful boys and girls later, Jiwoo’s desk was cleared. She had chosen four smart, attractive, and what she hoped were well-intentioned younglings. It was truly incredible how many young people are no longer virginal, though Jiwoo supposed she wasn’t one to talk. Taking care of the prince left her unwed and childless past her prime, but she did not regret it one bit.

As she began to tidy up for the evening, someone rapped their knuckles gently on her door, a tall silhouette showing faintly through the paper film, backed by sun rays.

Jiwoo started. 

“Come in,” she called apprehensively. A figure walked in, excusing himself.

The boy had a lovely round face, a thin straight nose, eyebrows like dark forests, and full, rose-pink lips. His expression was light as he bowed deeply then sat squarely across from Jiwoo, his broad shoulders relaxed. He was lean and muscular from work. His various features had matured over the years, made him more handsome, yet he was unmistakable. 

"Your name?" She asked anyway, just to be sure.

"Choi Yeonjun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stream drama mv!!! god BLESS these fucking boys drama is actually like one of my fave tracks  
> ouch, the way i write jiwoo... i made her backstory so sad lmao  
> thanks sm for the comments ToT are you following still? the background begins to be unveiled... though of course, you won't get it all at once.


	9. he walked right in bro,,, yea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a periodical obligatory disclaimer/reminder due to the nature of RPF. i know you are all lovely and respectful MOAs!  
> \------  
> Since I know everyone here is a fan (if ur not, wyd come hang for a bit), here's my disclaimer. We can have fun and write and daydream what we want, but ultimately we must respect the boys and value them as people with their own private interests, love lives, etc. As idols they give us a lot of fanservice to make us happy but their brotherhood and friendship is the realest and most important of all. Please keep in mind their real individuals are separate from their portrayals in this piece of fiction while reading, which is made solely for entertainment. Just as they give their best to us, they deserve the best from their fans. MOA fighting!  
> \------  
> ahh!!! i wanted to have something for yall... I'm straying from my outline quite a bit at this point but thankfully everything is still moving us forward.

While Soobin has a sit-in with the governors’ bi-annual meeting, Yeonjun was left to his own devices. The servants offered him just about everything, so he took a peek at the halls, the courts, and at the general hubbub of the palace, soaking in his new surroundings. It occurred to him that not many could see its inner workings so organically, but he did his best to not stray into anything that seemed classified.

He chuckled at the business model. Paid for 24 hours at a time, yet most of them were spent without structure or progress. Really, even if he set up a curriculum of some sort for Soobin- Yeonjun snorted at that- he wasn't about to do the deed without consent from the prince's own lips, which still had the tendency to seal tight whenever Yeonjun darted a glance his way. He wasn’t a rapist. It wasn't a deep concern for him whether Soobin becomes a sex god or stayed a virgin, so long Yeonjun got paid on time and has a little fun along the way. And was the boy still fun to tease? Hell yeah.

Yeonjun was roused from his aimless wandering at the sound of giggles, bright and high-pitched. The sun had reached its highest point in the sky. His heart filled with warmth at the sight of children playing ball in a special court in what must be the palace’s nursery and daycare, no doubt the descendants of the live-in palace staff. They had no worry for wealth or status, since at the very least, the staff were compensated to do their jobs, and so could support their families. That is to say, hypothetically, little peasant boys could play with little noble boys, and the little girls too. After all, their parents were too busy to care. 

He spent some time sitting under the shade and taking shelter from the high noon, observing their carefree recreation and reminiscing his childhood. Occasionally, a child would look over at the strange new man, waving cautiously with chubby little hands. Yeonjun waved back, smiling gently. The breeze and soft laughter made his eyelids heavier and heavier.

\--------  
Yeonjun didn’t fill out an application or submit it, didn’t even make it to any preliminary evaluations. His excuse is that he was too busy.

He worked overtime for the two weeks that the recruitment period ran, and eventually afforded to take a single evening off. He pulled out his one set of formal wear and simply sauntered into the palace, making himself at home in line with the few dozen pretty boys and girls, giving off an aura just dazzling enough for no one to question him. The girls in his village were into it, so was every servant at the palace, it was just facts.

Yeonjun had a secret weapon. He knew he could confidently beat out all these starry-eyed, flowery kids based on one thing, he just had to make sure he reached the right person. He smiled to himself.

Yeonjun would be the first to admit the money was the initial pull. “For your time and service, you will be compensated twenty-three thousand won a day.” read the pamphlet. He was intrigued, definitely. The daily rate was far higher than what he currently made. He shrugged the large bag of barley he carried on his shoulder, really doing little more than glancing at the compensation before he had to move on, spending what felt like an eternity redirecting cargo, filling the horse carts to the brim, working day in and day out. For this job, he made sure to wear a hat and cover his arms, protecting him from the harsh sun even if it made him sweat profusely. When he finished, the moon hung high in the sky, its bare white face lighting his way as he retraced his path to the pamphlet, still tacked onto the wooden pole he leaned against earlier to wipe perspiration from his brow. When he finally sorted out the details, however, the opportunity piqued his interest.

It had been years since he’d thought about the prince in earnest. Of course on the occasional public outing, Soobin was radiant, authorized and unauthorized artisan brush portraits making their way into the newspapers Yeonjun didn’t have time to read. He still kept them though, for eye candy. And what the public needed to know, were also the only things they were let known about. The truth was not just anyone knew the ins and outs of the royals, or the palace, and Yeonjun wouldn’t spend his time on such a thing in the first place. So, he didn't think much about Soobin.

By the time Yeonjun got back home, his mother, the only other occupant of the house, was fast asleep. Some nights, he didn’t even wash up before collapsing into his creaky cot like a rock, too tired to dream. Tonight he dreamt of Soobin.

Yeonjun woke up in a pool of his own sweat gripping at his collar, his cock achingly hard. Alright, so something in him was still there for the one that got away. He wondered how Soobin was doing now, likely no longer the playful boy he once knew.

And so he ended up here, in line for the strangest job title the kingdom has ever seen. Yeonjun knew he was up for the job, knowing his way around his village’s men and women. Not that he was a playboy, but people offered and he was young, why not. It was good stress relief.

_”Yeonjun-sii, you’re such a cutie huh? What grade are you in? Oh you don't go to school anymore… Then, won't you come and play with big sister? Just for fun, come come.”_

_"Yeonjun-ah, you really cannot tell anyone, you can't. My father will find out. Don't hold my hand, are you stupid?"_

_"What, you want more? I have to see my wife, leave me alone. Don't think you can do just anything with a handsome face." But he wanted all the same._

Through trial and error, Yeonjun learned a number of things about himself: he was gay, he liked sex, everyone else also liked sex, and no one liked him. Maybe he always liked the wrong people, the unattainable few that were out of the reach of his good looks and fit body. And who was the most unattainable of them all? 

A prince? 

A prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school will start soon weh  
> my courses are really hard and will give me a lot of work too... hopefully i can still find time to write you all something once a week. thanks so much for your encouragement and feedback! i am being more ambitious with this work than anything I've written in a while. 
> 
> to be honest, i feel really guilty writing real person fiction... every time i see yeonjun's face i think of all the pain i have and will inflict on his character.  
> also, i hope the non-chronological storytelling is not too confusing, i just love to play around with dramatic irony/mystery elements, i haven't done it before /)u(\


	10. this one made me doki doki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg…… yeah finding the time to update is hard. also, back to back disclaimer, the story's general plot is 90% thought out (has been since the start, really). the way its looking, it might not have a happy ending. just a thought in case you Dont like angst.

Yeonjun finished his interview, bowed deeply once more to Jiwoo, and left.

 _There goes the only person Soobin ever liked._ Jiwoo sighed. In his childhood, Jiwoo always found herself looking for the prince, who often scurried away in the middle of class to play. More often than not, she wound up checking the same place: Aunt Arin’s Childcare Plaza and Home. 

_“Hi, hello, so sorry. Your majesty! Put down that ball and come home. It’s time for dinner.”_ She ushered a reluctant six-year-old Soobin away with a gentle arm, who turned and gave a small wave of his hand to the other boy, little feet tracking mud Jiwoo would make him scrape off on the way home.

The other boy bounced his worn leathery football once at his feet, looking at Soobin’s form shrinking as he walked away.

At Aunt Arin’s, the shorter your stay, the better. Aunt Arin herself was in life a sweet woman, and started her home for children whose parents were simply indisposed to take care of their children for the moment. During the kingdom’s last great recession, swathes of households were looted, neighborly friendliness fell away, and weary working adults were mobilized to find work and resources, slowly pushing at their borders, rehauling their agriculture and infrastructure. Arin, a young landlady at the time, repurposed her emptied buildings as a new home for the children who were left behind. Fortune smiled and plates began to refill, and grateful caretakers welcomed back their little ones with tearful smiles and open arms.

Since then, Aunt Arin’s has served as a sort of long-term daycare, for overnight stays and the like. It was such a beloved public service that the emperor a generation before ordered automatic subsidies to the plaza, and aid continued under the rule of Soobin’s father. 

The miracle of children was that they were able to happily play in a new environment, and go to school and come back to Aunt Arin’s as opposed to their own home, and could be acquainted with the other children and smile brightly despite their hardships. From the glimpses Jiwoo got of the space, she saw lovely, bright children playing all the time, and couldn’t blame Soobin for being drawn to its glow. 

As it should, Aunt Arin’s did not have the same faces all the time. But every time Jiwoo came to fetch Soobin from what was becoming his self-determined recess, she became familiar with one of its tenants. A boy with monolids and cute thick lips, always holding a worn football in the crook of his arm, or pushing it around in the dirt with one toe, watching with longing eyes whenever Soobin had to leave. She suspected something happened to his family, leaving their boy behind. He put on a brave face and acted like an older brother, the rugged senior who knew his way around, to all the new children who would come and leave, come and leave. And he had taken to Soobin so warmly too, the shy prince who didn’t know much beyond the palace gates.

“Soobinie, you like football?” Jiwoo gently asked Soobin one morning as she helped him get dressed, his arm stretched perpendicular so she could straighten his robes more easily.

“I love it.” The boy chirped back. 

“You didn’t like it before.” Jiwoo replied lightly, adjusting his collar before straightening her back. She smoothed out his tangled hair too with a firm palm.

“I do, it’s fun. It’s fun to play with Jun-sii.” He beamed.

“Is that so.” Jiwoo hummed.

\-----------

“Kim Jiwoo-sii. The majesties have requested that you, ah, desist from letting the young prince wander all about ‘like a street urchin.” The squire approached her with a flat face.

“He’s just a child, he’ll have plenty of time to be cooped up later. Can’t a child play?” She replied indignantly.

“They want later to be uh, now. It’s unseemly. Someone could grab him off the street, he’s not fitting in his studying time, he’s associating with commoners.” the squire ticked off the grievances on his fingers, unbudging. 

“He won’t like it, it will hurt him.” Jiwoo’s tone turned pleading. She couldn’t say that he made a friend, that would perhaps lead to trouble. She didn’t know enough about the boy, or about his interactions with Soobin. Everything the squire said was true.

“Wait just a moment. I’ll go to them myself.” Jiwoo asserted. She strode past the squire, mind working to help her prince.   
\-----------

“Yeonjun hyung,” Soobin called softly, only half committed to waking up the older man. The summer sun cut across Yeonjun’s smooth cheeks just beneath his closed eyes, a band of gold reflecting the bright red scatter of his flesh and blood underneath thin skin. The bark of the tree he took refuge under cradled his body and it had settled in a gentle curve while he slept. 

“Soobin-sii,” Yeonjun answered. He put a hand to his eyes and squinted at the prince, who looked a bit weary after his sit-in. He himself felt rested after his nap, only slightly hungry.

“Do you like it here?” Soobin asked softly through a stifled yawn, a smile creeping up on his face.

“Yes,” Yeonjun replied easily. He gestured at the emptied clearing, since the children had gone for lunch and their afternoon nap. 

"This place, it reminds me of when I was young." Yeonjun elaborated. Soobin reached out a hand to him, offering him support to stand up. He wanted to reveal something.

The seated man gripped his arm firmly, tugging suddenly and catching Soobin off-guard, who stumbled on his feet towards Yeonjun on account of his fatigue. His mouth slightly agape, Soobin struggled to continue his train of thought. It dimly registered that Yeonjun was leaning in, one hand still holding Soobin's, the other gently coming around to brush the hair at Soobin's nape.

Soobin shut his eyes tightly, his whole body freezing in place. After a moment, however, he cracked one eyelid open to see Yeonjun's face, his own hooded eyes laiden with want but still attending to Soobin, waiting for him to make the next move.

"I-" Soobin choked out instead, desperate to keep his mouth busy. "I helped make this," he gestured awkwardly with both arms instead. Yeonjun let him go, using both arms to get to his feet.

"Did you? That's amazing." He replied genuinely.

"Yeah, when I was young I visited this childcare place, I thought it was really nice." Soobin smiled softly. "When I was able to lead projects on my own, one of the first things I did was try to emulate that feeling, and help organize the children together so they have a stronger sense of community." 

His smile grew wistful. "I didn't have that feeling for myself for very long."

"It would have done you good to have some friends, you wouldn't have such a hard time now." Yeonjun said, looking appreciatively once more over the clearing, the carefully maintained brush and the open hallways that showed small bundles snoring away as caretakers adjusted a blanket or cracked open a window for breeze.

_I did have a friend._

"Yeah. It would have."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im really grateful to people who keep reading, as well as leaving feedback <3 i will work hard for you!
> 
> also my writing style now becomes more and more fragmented……… there are time skips and flashbacks everywhere aaaaaa


	11. two bros chillin in a tub

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is… well, Something. i worked hard to put something out, the plot advances! sort of. at least, some semblance of sex tutoring emerges

The next time noona found Soobin, she attempted to instill some sense of order into him, rattling off his obligations while reminding him he had to meet suitors in mere weeks. Her words lingered on his skin like bad perfume, so when evening fell he gratefully shed the robes from his back and slid into the warm, fragranced water of his sizable tub with a sigh. The perks of being prince announced themselves not the least in simple luxuries such as a steamy tub. Though he did most household things himself, the servants were the ones who brought him heated water nightly. He stretched his legs out, watching the diffracted image of his toes curl and uncurl at the bottom of the tub.

The filmed door to the bathroom slid open and Soobin reflexively sank below the water, arms covering himself and his chin dipping in, preemptively mortified at his state of vulnerability.

"Oh," Yeonjun said softly, sounding not quite all there, looking a bit gaunt. "I didn't mean to intrude, I… went to the wrong room." He slid the door closed again hastily and Soobin watched his shadow fade away. Moments later he heard a noisy clatter and a grunt.

"Yeonjun?" Soobin stepped bodily out of the tub, splashing water everywhere as he dried himself hastily and pulled on his robe. He clambered barefooted into the hall where Yeonjun had collapsed. The older man let out a weak groan, looking at Soobin with watery eyes, one hand propping himself up from the wooden floorboards. His head was pounding.

Soobin ran to the living room and poured a cup of water, kneeling besides Yeonjun and cupping his chin to help him drink.

"It's fine, I'm fine." Yeonjun muttered weakly. Soobin ran a hand through his dripping hair with a loud exhale. Wiping it hastily on his robe, he pressed the back of it to Yeonjun's forehead, gauging his temperature. It felt just a bit hot but not alarmingly so, and Soobin sighed with worry.

"What's the matter? What happened?" He asked, reaching a hand forward to tidy the dark locks of Yeonjun's hair.

"I was just suddenly very tired… I worked extra the week before I came to the palace, I guess. Maybe stress." Yeonjun conjectured. He looked exhausted.

"What work did you do?" Soobin helped the older man to his feet, one hand bracing against his waist in case he fell. Yeonjun leaned his head on the taller's chest.

"Normal stuff, manual labor mostly. I overworked." Yeonjun waved dismissively.

"You still look worn out, hyung. Were you planning to shower?" Soobin noticed the strewn sleepwear and towels on the floor where Yeonjun had fallen. 

"I can… skip a day, thought that would be rude towards you, my prince." Yeonjun breathed.

"Nonsense." Soobin said sharply. "Here, sit for a moment while I call someone to exchange the cool water. It would do you good to bathe at a warmer temperature today." He led Yeonjun to sit at the edge of his bed, patting him reassuringly with a large hand before jogging outside to ask for hot water.

Soobin supported his back as they watched a servant come and change out the water for Soobin's tub, though he kept his eyes uncomfortably averted from the prince and his companion throughout. The servant bowed to the two before leaving and they uttered their thanks, Yeonjun instinctively bowing in turn but Soobin stopping him.

"Do you need help bathing?" Soobin blurted out before realizing how absurd he sounded, his cheeks coloring bright red. "Err- that is to say, I could help steady you if you feel shaky still." He clarified clumsily.

Yeonjun silently chuckled at him, removing his own robes, pieces falling too quickly for Soobin to react save for a slight gasp as the older man flashed his unclothed muscled back and buttocks at the prince as he lifted a leg to step into the tub, sinking into the water with a satisfied sigh.

"Since coming to the palace, I've experienced such privileges, but my exhaustion caught up with me." Yeonjun said, flexing and unflexing his fingers and toes in the water. 

"I'm usually quite capable, please don't be concerned about my health." He reached out a wet palm to grasp Soobin's forcep. The prince was still frozen where he was crouching, and suddenly he too, shivered. From what it was unclear, but Yeonjun noticed and sidled closer, spilling a bit of water down the sides.

"Your majesty, will you remain in this state?" Yeonjun asked with gentle concern in his voice. Soobin tilted his head, not registering. Yeonjun motioned at his state of half dress, far too much dewy skin showing since he slapped on his robe in a hurry. Suddenly it felt too breezy down there. No wonder his servant was uncomfortable, his prince was disheveled and revealing himself. Soobin let out a tiny sneeze.

"There's space here, if you'd like to join me." Yeonjun said, his expression entirely foreign to Soobin as he leaned back in the tub, droplets of water running down his bare chest, between the sloping valley of his pectorals, his skin flushing with vitality as the warmth rejuvenated him. It would be too late to fetch yet someone else to bring a third round of hot water. Soobin was in danger of getting a cold the longer he lingered as well. After an agonizing moment, he relented.

Convinced that he had blacked out by the good grace of god, Soobin regained his senses less than a meter from the other man, their bare legs entangling in the water, though there was ample room for the rest of them even being over 180cm tall. A defense mechanism, he guessed, to have shown his entire bare body to Yeonjun and not have encoded the faintest memory of the occasion. He stared across the small space at the other man, not so much seeing as being overcome by waves of goosebumps rising on his flesh.

He did not want to run away, exactly. That was something. Progress, whether he liked it or not.

"What is happening?" Soobin breathed.

"We seem to be sitting in a tub, a little less than two meters apart." Yeonjun replied with a smirk.

Soobin began to wash himself awkwardly, splashing water onto his forearms and rubbing. Silence filled the room. Soon, the slight vapor rising from the hot water made them heady. Yeonjun released a sigh of enjoyment, vitality refreshed. Soobin felt as though he was inebriated. He saw beads of sweat running down Yeonjun's temple. _That's good, he can sweat out any malaise. Boldly, for him anyway, he reached out a hand to arrange Yeonjun's unkempt hair, their dampness making them clump together, sweeping them to one side to reveal his forehead._

Soobin pressed his back to his side of the tub in preparation.  
"I don't want to be unfair to you, Yeonjun-sii." He started haltingly.

"I am a bit slow to take on, yes, but I have the duties of a prince." He sounded like noona. He inhaled shakily.

"We can do everything but s-sex."

"You're sure? You want to?" Yeonjun's eyebrows raised slightly. His voice too, came out thinly among the rising steam.

Soobin nodded wordlessly.

"Okay. Let's get started." Two meters turned to zero, the other man emerging from the fog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stan twitter has possessed me to say that we should support txt on their october comeback~~~ i'll be busy with college apps but i hope it will still be a lot of fun and they can comfort me. at least, i can stream while doing homework.
> 
> hope youre all doing well! stick around, its time to put on my erotica hat (or at least a little bit, erotica lite for now)
> 
> i love any feedback 🙏🙏🙏


	12. mm mnn wow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello loves!! i am back with my nearly weekly update.

Having been served a full frontal of Yeonjun's torso, Soobin didn't know where to look. _Wasn’t he not feeling well just a moment ago? From whence came his charisma?_

Soobin put his hands out of the water, gripping onto the rim of his tub with trembling fingers. To his surprise, Yeonjun’s reached out and covered his, the wetness making a sound as the older man got closer and closer into Soobin's personal space.

They were kissing. Soobin had skipped a few seconds of consciousness and before he knew it the more experienced lips and teeth were pulling along the plumpness of his bottom lip, smelling like golden wheat as Yeonjun curled one hand around his neck and the other on his cheek, letting out suppressed, heated growls as he shared his body heat with Soobin.

"I've been waiting for this," Yeonjun breathed, his eyes glittering. He ran his hands along Soobin's, guiding them to grab his naked waist under the water and drape around the smooth skin of his shoulder.

"What's the use in euphemisms, every honest person in this palace knows better. You know what I am right Soobin? I'm your sex tutor." Yeonjun suddenly dipped his tongue into Soobin's clavicle, causing the younger man to jump slightly. Licking a thin strip up Soobin's sensitive jugular, he ended with a nip and a caress of Soobin's jaw, leaving a small red mark.

"What does that mean? That means I will teach you how to handle a warm body, play it like a gayageum and make it sing." He whispered the last word into Soobin's ear. Yeonjun's hand did a few runs up his chest, mimicking the caressing and plucking fingers on strings pulled taught across a curved, wooden board, eliciting shivers from Soobin.

"You'll be a musician, Soobin." Yeonjun smiled sadly. "And you will be a master of it, the virtuoso on his grand stage." Their foreheads were pressed together when Yeonjun finished, strands of dark hair framing their faces.

"You'll touch them, a new instrument, but your skill will flow back like a memory, and you will do a great job."

"That's what I'd like." Yeonjun concluded with a small quirk of his lip.

Soobin nodded wordlessly.

Yeonjun kissed him again, and this time his warm tongue probed at Soobin's lips, demanding entrance. Soobin parted them hesitantly, letting the strong muscle coax his own tongue along and twirl around it. Yeonjun tasted a bit like earth, powerfully acrid and masculine. It calmed him down, almost.

While Yeonjun's tongue led Soobin along, his hands began to wander, running along Soobin's laterals and abs. The water made them slick, skin in full contact and flush against eachother’s. His hands were rougher than Soobin's, but they felt nice touching him everywhere. How long has it been since Soobin last let someone touch him? Rather than a lover, Yeonjun’s warmth felt like… family, a familiar home. He didn’t know it would feel this nice, that he could feel safe showing this much of himself.

Finally finding strength, Soobin aimed directly for Yeonjun’s thin belly, reaching a slightly trembling hand towards a smooth expanse of skin. The older man smirked and backed away, letting a bit of bath water run over as a result. Yeonjun grinned brightly, reaching his fingers back out to tangle them in Soobin's abandoned hand playfully, leaving the prince looking like a lost puppy.

"Lesson one. If you want something, you have to work for it." He said with a twinkle in his eye, looking self-satisfied.

Soobin blushed heavily, his first advance entirely rejected. He began again, putting his hand awkwardly on Yeonjun's forearm, drawing himself closer. Biting his lip, Soobin moved his hand more adventurously up Yeonjun's bicep, diving in for a chaste peck on those full lips. Yeonjun let him grow bolder and touch his chest, his abs, all muscle with a healthy layer of fat over. Soobin decided to kiss him again, the safest move. Guilt gnawed at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that sucked the soul from me ngl, im no good at writing smut  
> but i hope i showed something interesting and a bit fun to read through… soobin abs have been confirmed recently
> 
> hope you are well! txt comeback oct 26 kst, lets do our best!
> 
> i love any feedback <3 you motivate me to continue this lengthy project


	13. a moment in time

It had become a regular occurrence for Jiwoo to fetch Soobin from the guardianship of his friend at Aunt Arin’s, and the boy would on occasion tease and stick out his tongue at Jiwoo, hanging onto Soobin’s arm and not letting go. The little prince was the same, always pleading to Jiwoo with puppy eyes before her iron will walked him home for the day. 

One day, she came early since she had an errand to run soon after. It was a nice evening, summer drawing to a close as the skies turned orange and the green grass glowed gold. As she arrived at the open entrance of the yard, she spied the two boys beneath a tangerine tree on the far side of the court, standing very close. She saw them giggle and the boy moved closer to Soobin, holding both of Soobin's hands in his and swinging them slightly left and right. Jiwoo watched as he bent down secretively, saying something she could roughly make out.

_"I like you. Don't forget me."_

And guess what, Soobin liked him too. He stretched to kiss the older boy- where did he learn that?- on the lips, grinning abashedly after. Pleasantly surprised, he affectionately ruffled Soobin's hair in turn, pulling him into a big hug.

"Boys," Jiwoo called mildly, unable to bring herself to truly break their reverie. "Your majesty, let's go home." Soobin trotted to her, eyes beaming and his cheeks rosy from embarrassment or excitement. Likely the latter, he was too young to know what he was doing, really.

She turned to look at the elder boy, who waited still under the tangerine tree, clinging to the strips of bark as his teeth worried over his plump lip, looking longingly at his friend as though they'd never meet again. She looked down at the still glittering expression of her dear Soobin. Something changed then, or had simply metamorphosed, its wings emerging delicately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short chapter, but a deserving one i think.  
> as always, i value your feedback, take care ❤️


	14. hello fbi?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not very satisfied with this one but i must keep pushing along! a good part is coming!

"Hello, caretaker-nim, my name is Jiwoo."

"Yes, how can I help you?"

"I would like to see Choi Yeonjun-sii please,"

"Choi Yeonjun-ah… he is not here anymore."

"What?" Jiwoo was bewildered. "He- he played so often with the pr-I mean my child, where has he gone?"

"It seems his mother's illness became unmanageable. Bouts of hysteria come and go, since he has been here quite a while and grown mature, his grandparents fetched him to help at home."

"That's- it can't be good for the boy," Jiwoo blustered.

The woman at the desk shrugged. "Being here too… not much cheered him up like that friend of his. Maybe it's time for change."

Jiwoo gave a hesitant nod. "I so wanted to know him better," she lamented.

The clerk glanced left and right cautiously. "Only because I have witnessed the care you give him, I have his address here." She rifled through an old directory, the print on it dating it from three or four years ago, finding a specific entry. She scrawled it down quickly on a note and passed the slip to Jiwoo, who thanked her profusely before leaving.

She ended up in front of a small, gray house, a wooden basket of bread and fruits on one arm. She had stopped by the market earlier to pick up something as a housewarming gift. They were in appalling conditions, even the front step was dusty and in disrepair. Jiwoo didn't blame Yeonjun's grandparents for bringing their grandchild home, they desperately needed his help. 

Jiwoo led him outside to chat. They talked about his family, where Yeonjun ought to be going to school or studying at his own pace, if he needed help and how much Jiwoo should visit if so.

For a while, she happily brought him care packages, whatever essentials they needed at a time and extra goodies for the boy. Then his mother's parents, his grandparents, died of old age. Suddenly, Mrs. Choi was asking her to not come over any longer, that it was trouble for her and for them. When Jiwoo pressed further and insisted on helping, Mrs. Choi's tone grew firm and unfriendly, insistently driving her from the house. Yeonjun was at school that day.

Her own life grew busy too, as Soobin's studies and royal duties grew more vigorous, her tasks piled on by more public outings to prepare him for and elaborate days to schedule. The more integrated she became in the prince's life, the more she was instrumental to the cogwork of the palace. It was fine by her to have an occupied day, but only in the moments of rest at night did her mind wander off to speculate how the young Yeonjun was doing.

When she saw him again on the final day of screening applicants, he was older, broader across the shoulders, looking tired from life yet respectfully addressing Jiwoo.

"Yeonjun! I can't believe it's you! Do you… remember me?" Jiwoo exclaimed.

"Yes, Jiwoo-sii. I remember his majesty too." His voice was deeper, more assured. He didn't look haunted nor hurt despite his childhood, and had quite charming looks.

"Oh Yeonjun." She nearly sobbed out of relief; relief for his safety and soundness, relief for Soobin, too.

"Yeonjun, you would treat him well yes?" She clasped his hand in hers. He nods.

"You'll make him comfortable, and be gentle with him yes?" He nods again.

"How did you end up here? I haven't gotten to see you in so long."

"Must be fate." He grinned mysteriously at Jiwoo, eyes looking down.

"Well, I think you're a fine candidate for the prince. I don't know if he um," Jiwoo faltered.

"Remembers me? I guess it would only be fair." Yeonjun shrugged. He seemed nonchalant enough, Jiwoo assumed he wasn't too caught up in feelings, which could be helpful for her prince.

"Well you know Yeonjun, I can't imagine how the prince feels about all this, but I want you to give your best shot. He would be content with your guidance. I can feel it." She said earnestly. The now grown man threw his head back and laughed curtly.

"Here, why don't you get dressed and groomed in the meantime? I have to organize the candidates together." She glanced at him appreciatively. "Certainly, the mauve would be the perfect robe for your complexion. "

"And don't you worry, you could shine brighter than any of them."

Yeonjun nodded his head towards her respectfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🤔🤔🤔🤔  
> yall im excited for blue hour, i am  
> i hope to bring you a fun and exciting next chapter (if it goes according to plan, or else it will be a traumatic and emotional chapter instead)
> 
> i hope youre well, leave feedback if youd like! i really appreciate it~


	15. i'll be good now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there! this chapter features selective amnesia as a plot device with some artistic liberties taken. pls google if you want to learn more as it is a real thing though it's used a lot in storytelling!

Soobin was understandably distraught when Jiwoo broke the news to him as gently as possible: that he could not see his Yeonjun-sii any longer, it was for his own good. Plus, Yeonjun had gone back to his home. Even as she said it, she knew it rang hollow. Soobin was so much happier around him, and to take the only friend of a lonely boy… 

"He doesn't _like_ it there! It's no good!" The normally soft-spoken boy nearly wailed. Jiwoo was alarmed, trying her best to soothe him. After his frustrations subsided, with a few small hiccups bubbling up, she left the boy alone, hoping to give him some thinking space and time to reassert himself and his responsibilities. 

She should have known better.

"Soobin!" She called out in the street, not caring to use the prince's title in public when he had gone missing at night. 

"Please, have you seen the young prince?" She pleaded to everyone she met. Townsfolk who still mingled at this late hour were often old, tired laborers or young party-goers who, at the end of the day, were unlikely to pay attention to any little boys running around, even if one happened to be the prince.

When she returned to the palace empty-handed, lungs burning, she felt as though she was going to be sick, her stomach turning. This was exactly what the squire had warned her of, and she was such a foolish, foolish woman. She looked up, his tall imposing figure looking smugly at her as he leaned against the wooden frame of the hall.

"Don't worry Jiwoo-sii, I brought the prince back shortly before you came. Found him shaking by a street lamp, all scared looking. Didn't find that friend of his either. He's getting a stern talking-to from the royal highnesses, I bet." The squire said almost gleefully. Jiwoo's face goes white with fear.

"You should have checked him." He called as she rushed towards the inner palace, towards the suite of the emperor and empress.

"Should've checked him long ago."

The first sign of bad news was the yelling. The majesties never yelled, it was poor form. And yet the shrill scolding of the empress seeped through the crack in the door of the monarch' shared parlor, slightly ajar. Jiwoo wrung her hands nervously, hesitating for a moment, preparing what to say, whatever she could do to bail her boy out of there. It was all her fault. The small, hurt voice of the boy muttered something and the yelling crescendoed near instantly.

"Your majesties- !" She burst through the door, ready to put her life on the line. The porcelain teacup had already left the mother's hand, crashing with a terrible, loud noise into the wall a scant distance away from Soobin’s ear. It shattered into a million pieces as Jiwoo looked on in horror. The small figure of Soobin, who had stood straight and trembling before his parents to receive their wrath, slid down the wall with shaking knees, tears silently running down his cheeks. Jiwoo’s heart broke. Her head snapped to the empress reproachfully, whose empty hand stayed frozen in the air in the path of her throw, not yet processing what she had done. Her rouge lips opened and closed in a window of silence, and she drew her prideful hand back definitively, her posture straightening. The emperor had gone gray. Jiwoo didn’t look at him.

She gently scooped up the sobbing child and took him out of the room before either monarch could say anything, cooing and petting Soobin’s hair, checking for injuries. She darted a meaningful glance at a servant who was minding his own business and sweeping the hall for him to clean up the aftermath in the parlor.

“I’m so sorry, Soobin dear.” She said softly, putting him into bed in his wing of the palace, his eyes still wide open. It was late, it had been a long day. Jiwoo tried not to think about her employment prospects.

“Noona, p-please don’t go.” He tugged on her sleeve, sounding pitiful. She sighed inwardly and climbed into his bed, hugging the boy and petting his hair, hugging him to her chest and comforting him until he fell asleep.

In the morning, when Soobin awoke and stretched his arms cutely, rubbing one eye, Jiwoo gently said to him: “It might be best if you focused on your studies, and no longer think about Yeonjun, okay?” She thought it best to do all she could for him, now that she was sure to be fired for her insolence, negligence, and others in the long list of grievances the emperor and empress have against her.

“Who’s that?” He tilted his head.

Jiwoo froze. “Um…”

Seeing her confusion, Soobin was quick to comfort her, ever the well-meaning boy. “Don’t worry noona, I’ll be really good now. I’ll study hard. Please don’t worry.”

“Okay. Okay Soobinnie, I trust you.” She smiled at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick update!! woohoo~ i will be getting really deep into college app stuff soon though  
> adding to the tags too as the details of the story become fleshed out.  
> i had a lot of fun this chapter hehe
> 
> i love to hear what you think, thank you for your support!


	16. a whole new woooorld dont you dare close your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quickly before i overthink… keep an eye out for the next chapter which i already wrote in a flurry of passion! i have had a productive week

After the anomaly of the bathtub incident— Soobin dubbed it so in his head— the two cohabitated surprisingly normally. Yeonjun did fall ill, but it only got as bad as a fever. Soobin checked on him sometimes in the middle of the night, claiming it would make the most sense for him to look after the man, their rooms being right next to each other. It was a benefit he had personally enjoyed when it had been noona's room. Soobin soaked his towelettes, felt for his temperature with the back of his hand, and held his wrist gently to check his pulse throughout the nights.

When Yeonjun was healthy again, they celebrated with a secret day off, Soobin having rearranged a meeting and pleading for noona to work her magic. Once again, they found themselves drinking tea and playing in the courtyard, running around like children. It was nostalgic, somehow, the way Yeonjun easily handled the football like an extension of himself, smirking at Soobin whenever he landed tricks just to show off and delight the prince. 

Yeonjun kissed him more too, since Soobin gave permission. He'd taught him things like how to set a rhythm for tongue movements, how to lean into it and touch their hair and stroke their cheek, how much teeth was "sexy" as opposed to "annoying". It was already a lot for Soobin, and he hadn't been able to comfortably think about sex. But there were genres of kisses. There was the deep and heavy kind that took his breath away, and there were light, chaste ones. Yeonjun would slip them in after practicing a hard kiss, pecking Soobin lightly wherever he chose. Soobin looked forward to those the most.

The kissing was important, of course, because Soobin would have to kiss his betrothed on stage and kiss them well, with the passion of a lover and the skill of a ruler.

Once he kissed Yeonjun too, bending down slightly to match their heights. It was light and on his cheek, the two men shrouded by the leaves of his tangerine trees which were starting to turn gold. What compelled him, he didn't know. Soobin had never seen the man grin so widely.

Yeonjun laughed. "Will you remember me when all this is over?" He asked.

"As a friend," came the honest answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one made me 💔  
> i will probably have the next chapter (its big!) up Very soon so~ dont be missing that
> 
> once again i am reminded how ridiculous my premise is 😭😭😭 take care, be well! i would love to hear from you.
> 
> yj rly said yeehaw😩😩😩✌


	17. grrr woof woof bark bark *Sweat emoji*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> umm???? have fun. i made some doodles at the end for visualization purposes

It was late afternoon and Soobin was the most decked out he had been in a while, his hair styled, scented oils slicking back the sides and giving him more edge, his fancy iridescent scarlet and noir robes were not yet broken in, the starchy collar scratching at his neck. They were a different fit too, made him broader around the shoulders and an unorthodox seam and belt cinched at his waist to add more power to his torso. He might have felt spiffier if he wasn't perspiring out of sheer anxiety.

Yeonjun saw his get-up and snorted at Soobin's clearly uncomfortable grimace.

"Do not laugh, I have people to meet." He said grimly.

"Suitors?" Yeonjun's teasing smile faded.

"Unfortunately," Soobin sighed.

"Oh." Silence. "…Should I prepare myself for that too?"

Soobin thought for a moment.

"Yeah, why not."

Yeonjun nodded, satisfied. He asked Jiwoo for a fitted robe, the navy fabric shimmering. She obliged.

Soobin mustered his courage, stepping out once more from the entrance of the palace to greet those who blindly admired him, smiling and waving as gallantly as he could.

For Soobin, it was deja vu. Here he was for the second time in a short two months, greeting a whole triage of eager and qualified good-looking young adults, none of which he knew by name. Sure, there was the family friend or someone who was famous in the papers, alums and artisans of high standing in their communities, but he didn’t know them personally. It was all par for the course and something Soobin would never get used to.

The catering on this first day was laid out somewhat resembling a ball. There was a hall prepared with a feast, an open square for dancing if they so wished, and the peripheral for acquainting. There was even a live band that played the classical songs of the Choi clan, the longevity of the empire permitting so. The young people of the palace were allowed to partake in the party as well, as the prospective suitors were distinguished by emerald sashes.

Soobin, as the host, was the spotlight of attention for several tedious hours. One by one, they came up to him and introduced themselves: their names, ranks, and points of prestige. Some were attractive, some were rich, or powerful, or something. They smiled and flirted, occasionally inviting Soobin to dance. They dipped in and out of his personal space, making his skin too hot in his robes. Soobin did not dance with them, of course. Their personability meant nothing.

Ironically, of all the glittering, eager to please and honestly overqualified people in the room, Soobin quietly felt the most for the man by his side. He picked up a glass from a tabletop and poured himself a modest serving of wine. Dimly, he thought that he had never drank before, despite it being customary for his birthdays, holidays, and whatnot. He leaned against the table, sipping the tangy, irritating liquid from his glass as he looked tiredly across the room. 

However, Yeonjun was not by his side at the moment. Rather, he had wandered out onto the floor, talking and laughing with Soobin's potential suitors. He seemed comfortable, his shoulders bouncing up and down as he made conversation, one hand also holding a glass as the other gestured to augment his storytelling. The words flowed out like butter and his expression was light. Soobin envied him for that.

He wondered what Yeonjun was talking about, and before he knew it he had weaved through the crowd to his side, just silently standing there and looking at his expressions as he talked. The guests watched Soobin, curious. He faintly registered their stares, but not enough to care.

Yeonjun turned towards him. "Hello, your majesty," he bowed slightly. Soobin nodded in turn.

"Would you like a dance?" He quirked his rosy lips. Soobin stared at them. They were like… the soft lush petals of a rose. Soobin had to hold back a whine as Yeonjun took their glasses and set them on a nearby table. Reaching up to rest one hand over Soobin’s heart, Yeonjun put the other arm on his shoulder. Soobin awkwardly reached out to hold the other man, too, a little captivated at the way his fingers could tighten around Yeonjun’s thin waist, wrinkling the rich navy fabric.

"C'mon," Yeonjun breathed lightly. "Have a little fun." He started the leading steps. His hair smelled like vanilla and cinnamon. Soobin leaned down subtly to capture the scent. 

"One of these people will be your future partner. I'm just here to get you started so you don't look like a fool."

"Here, follow me." Yeonjun looked at their feet, gently nudging Soobin whenever he stepped out of line. Soobin looked at Yeonjun. 

“Just like that,” he murmured as they settled into a rhythm. “Got it love?”

Finally, Yeonjun looked up at him and smiled widely. Then he was gone. He had led Soobin to a candidate he was previously conversing with, a young girl with a cold, regal face, and slipped out of Soobin’s grasp to hand him over. She had silvery eyeshadow, silver robes, and glittering, dark purple lipstick, and her silky hair was tied into an updo with pearls strung throughout. As she slipped her smaller, delicate hand in his, Soobin did his best to not let his eyes wander off to look for Yeonjun. Already, he missed the comforting presence of the other man.

Through his inconsistent engagement, he learned that the girl was named Wang Yiren, and that her family had ties to the trade industry in China. Soobin kept his expression placid, looking intently at her. She was beautiful the way a painting was beautiful, pleasing to the eyes, but with zero marriage potential. Was it too harsh of him to decide so quickly?

When the dance was finished, she curtsied and he bowed courteously. She looked at him, clearly displeased.

“Prince Soobin. You seemed to have something on your mind. I hope I wasn’t simply a nuisance to you, but…” she glanced around the room. “That seems a tough feat for most of your suitors here.”

“No, no.” He replied promptly, slightly panicked. “Miss Wang, it was absolutely pleasing to make your acquaintance, I hope we can talk more in the future, I do.” He took her hands in his, the words coming out in a stream. Her lips thinned into a straight line, her beautiful face unreadable.

She snickered. Everyone was looking at them. “Your majesty sure is nice.” In front of everyone, she gave Soobin a kiss on the cheek. Bits of glitter from her lipstick clung onto his cheek as his mouth shaped itself into an “o”, surprised. She winked at him and left.

After an eternity of reinvigorated courting on the part of blurry-faced suitors while Soobin progressively got more wasted on white wine, Jiwoo entered and called an end to the night. For the next two weeks, Soobin would narrow down his suitors until his final decision. Then, he would have a period of a month to rehearse (separate from his betrothed) while the wedding ceremony was being prepared.

The suitors headed off for the night, some staying at the palace, some returning home if they wished. Either way, Soobin bid his adieu and trot unsteadily back to his own bedroom in the darkness. He was sweaty and gross though he spent the evening nearly frozen with anxiety.

Gripping the fabric of his dress robes, Soobin undid the collar, slipped his arms from the sleeves, and let the top half fall away, leaving his torso clad in a thin white undershirt. He haphazardly pulled it off over his head too, his top half finally free. His fingers fumbled clumsily at the belt, unable to figure out how to take it off in the murky darkness. He groaned out loud and flopped onto his bed, robes half undone.

The alcohol made him hot all over and slightly lightheaded. Due to his large size though, he wasn't completely incapacitated his first time. He sat hunched on the edge of his bed, trying to will away his oncoming headache.

Yeonjun knocked quietly on his doorframe. He had come back from the party too, likely exhausted like Soobin was.

"Soobin." He said in a soft, low voice. His face was hard to make out in the darkness, but he slowly came closer, cheeks slightly reddened from drinking and festivities. He put a finger on Soobin's bare chest and pushed him back gently. Soobin let him, falling back onto the bed with a heavy <i>whump</i>. For a moment, there was only the sound of their heavy breathing. Then Yeonjun climbed on top of him, knees straddling his sides, one arm bracing himself as he leaned in towards Soobin's face. His eyes caught glints of silver moonlight.

"She put her lips on you riiiight here." Yeonjun said in a dangerously quiet voice, dragging one finger forcefully across the remnants of glitter on Soobin's right cheekbone. He rubbed it between the pads of his thumb and sneered. Yeonjun took the sleeve of the navy robe he wore and wiped it several times over, making sure it was clean. Then, he shed the robe and flippantly tossed it in a corner. The whole time, he stared at Soobin.

"May I kiss you?" Yeonjun said, eyes wide and fierce. "May I erase what she's done?" Soobin nodded silently, heart leaping to his throat.

With that, Yeonjun gripped Soobin's jaw with one hand before swooping down, licking the area on Soobin's cheek forcefully like a puma washing her cub. He drew back his tongue and pressed his lips there, those soft rose petal lips Soobin longed for all evening. Soobin let out a small sigh and Yeonjun captured it with his mouth, working his lips and teeth over Soobin's desperately. Soobin fisted a hand in Yeonjun's hair and moaned into the hot cave of his mouth, overcome by the sensation. He wasn't sure if he should pull away. Soobin was gasping for air by the time Yeonjun drew away, their eyelids heavy and hooded as their dark gazes bore into each other in the darkness, both licking their lips where the taste of wine lingered.

“You’re mine.” He let out a guttural growl.

Clarity seemed to suddenly strike Yeonjun as the older man peeled himself off of the prince. "God, I'm drunk outta my mind." He muttered, using one hand to smooth out the mess of Soobin's hair.

"She's cute isn't she. She'd be a good empress, wouldn't she." Yeonjun slightly slurred the words that were just falling out of his mouth, one finger tracing pensively over Soobin's abdomen. Upon further consideration, he helped the prince undo the finicky belt, working at it with an intent expression and warm fingers, before excusing himself to his own room, picking up the navy robe in the process. Half undressed, Soobin stared at the ceiling and didn't move a muscle until morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter made me go /////// but i had a lot of fun writing it! i chose yiren because i think she has a really pretty and sophisticated-looking face~ plus i know china way better than korea ToT
> 
> i wont go too far down The Bachelor route i think, its frankly a bit exhausted to read so sorry if you are hoping for some sort of fullout i-land show :')
> 
> love you <3


	18. yeonjun's pov

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im like Half dead yall, enjoy

“Yeonjun-sii, nice to meet your acquaintance.” Yeonjun stood in a circle of people, most of them here to impress Soobin, as evidenced by their emerald sashes. Thinking him to be one of the best-dressed in the room- he had to look becoming, often being by Soobin’s side- and handsome on top of that, he drew a warm crowd, a few of them swirling their drinks. 

“What do you do, Yeonjun-sii?” One girl asked.

“I’m the sex tutor.” He said unabashedly.

“Must be nice,” one of the suitors said. “I mean, he’s good to look at, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, I’d say so.” Yeonjun nodded, glancing at Soobin, who stayed more or less stationary, just looking handsome in his dress robes.

“So what does he need you for?” The suitor’s voice dropped to a hush. “Is he impotent or something?”

A few in the group gasped, some laughed out loud. They all subtly leaned in now that Yeonjun designated himself an insider. Yeonjun exhaled through his nose and grinned good-naturedly, looking at the ceiling as he clicked his tongue and tried to decide what information to disclose. 

"He is not impotent, just shy." He finally said, defending the prince. "He is pure at heart, and led a studious life thus far."

They nodded in agreement, tension alleviating.

"Is he a good lay?" The same suitor asked again crassly. Yeonjun was beginning to memorize his face. The man had a strong jaw and cat-like eyes, his hair was dyed honey brown. He looked like a better version of everyone else there.

"That's for his betrothed to find out, isn't it?" Yeonjun said coldly.

"Well I suppose you found out. I don't know what makes you so special," he sneered back, looking Yeonjun up and down. The two of them were becoming increasingly loose-lipped as they forgot their surroundings.

"Did you come to talk to me for this?" Yeonjun asked. "To be rude about me and my prince?" _Ah shit, here we go_.

"Oh he's your prince now is he? We'll see about that, lover boy." The other man nearly snarled, getting into Yeonjun's personal space.

"Break it up boys." A short girl waved the two apart, the silky sleeves of her silver robes twinkling, following the movement of her arms.

"Just because you didn't make it as the sex tutor doesnt mean you get to clash with who did, Xiaolong." She poked a sharp finger into his chest disapprovingly.

He huffed, shooting a glare at Yeonjun before storming off.

She watched him go with a bored look on her face, then turned back to Yeonjun and extended her hand in greeting.

"Choi Yeonjun, miss." He nodded towards her.

"Wang Yiren. Sorry about my cousin." She said, waving her hand at Xiaolong, who was far gone into the wine and food. "He thinks being big and scary will get him his way."

"I didn't remember him, I truly didn't." Yeonjun said pensively.

"His majesty didn't either," she sighed. "He's real hurt about it." She looked around and pulled out a folding fan from her robe. "But if you ask me, it's a better deal to be here now and get a chance to actually fully court his majesty, a chance you don't get once you do your job."

"On account of the whole virginity thing."

"Right." She said frankly and smiled at him, waving her fan to cool herself. "Isn't it funny? The show the crown must put on with such a thing as the first coupling of the royal couple, what a fun culture your people have."

As the time ticked by, Yeonjun did his best to occupy himself with random chatter. Thinking about Soobin did him no favors until the actual man appeared at his side, his willowy stature bending over Yeonjun, eyes looking quite lost.

Yeonjun turned and smiled at his handsome face. He decided to let loose and take the opportunity to have some fun. Once Soobin comfortably matched his steps- he'd have to teach him dance later in preparation for the ceremony- Yeonjun glanced all around him. Finding Yiren, he handed the prince over without flair, smiling warmly at the two of them.

Yeonjun couldn't take his eyes off them when he found a seat, leaning forward a bit to see how Soobin fares. Maybe he chose wrong, since Yiren had that intimidating look to her and Soobin was naturally shy. They seemed to exchange a normal conversation. He observed them intently, watching the way their bodies fit together, Soobin giving her all his attention and smiling and nodding in that princely manner. 

Yes, she was suitable, a pretty petite girl whose stature made Soobin look strong and capable. He knew she was actually nice, that she was personable and had assets in the trading business and was a stellar woman. She laughed widely and said something to the prince.

And then, she leaned in towards Soobin's cheek and Yeonjun's vision flashed red. He shot up from his seat to take a step forward and a broad shoulder pushed him off his balance.

"Ouch," he hissed, grabbing his elbow that had been banged into the table.

"Didn't see you. My bad." Xiaolong snarled, his hulking figure barely sparing Yeonjun a moment of attention. The man was making his way towards the center where Yiren and Soobin were.

He wanted to make his way to Soobin, but the man was swarmed anew by suitors, who saw Yiren's opportunity and wanted to snag their own. He filled himself another glass of white wine and stayed glued to his seat.

He saw the way they smiled brightly, all their bodies tilted towards the prince like loyal sunflowers, all with one goal. Yeonjun wasn't like them. He himself has nothing to offer to the crown. No wealth nor connections nor resources. But, he also wanted very little from Soobin. Just to lay with him for fun, help him out for his "big day," then move on with his normal life as a cargo loader and enough financial padding to last a sizable time, if he rationed carefully.

It would be a clean exchange, and in Yeonjun's favor.

Yeonjun found himself wandering in the prince's wing, sheltered by the bright glow of the moon. He had been here over a month now, he ought to write a letter back to his mom. 

He tapped on Soobin's door frame, then poked his head inside. 

The sight that greeted him was, well, delectable. Did Soobin know how good he looked, his hair all mussed up and his robes half undone? The prince closed his eyes tightly, rubbing at his temples.

“Soobin,” Yeonjun said. As if possessed, he stepped into Soobin’s personal space, pushing him down onto the mattress. His bare skin was like satin, Yeonjun wanted to touch it more.

Heat was pooling in his belly, he wondered if it was bile. When he saw the glittery lipstick smudge on Soobin's cheek, he felt himself going feral, wiping at it harder than he should over Soobin's soft skin, wiping 'til it was clean and clear and beautiful.

It was really soft. Really cute. Yeonjun wanted to take him right then and there. But he looked at Soobin's eyes, dark inebriated pools in the moonlight and decided against it. He bent down to kiss him, with more abandon than usual. Soobin would forgive him, blame it on the alcohol. To his surprise, the prince kissed back, forcefully and sloppily but he was returning and taking over, Yeonjun beginning to feel overwhelmed. Did the alcohol turn his prince to a beast? That would be fucking hot.

The two finally drew back for breath.

"You're mine." He growled, sounding unrecognizable to himself. 

_He did it again_. Yeonjun wanted to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall pray for my college apps 🙏 they boutta be done but lets hope they make it thru the gauntlet 😩
> 
> xiaolong is fictional. his faceclaim is tentatively xiaojun from nct and wayv atm lmao
> 
> smthing i havent done before despite all the flashbacks and timeskips is multiple pov! im glad its an xciting chapter that i got to double over and show another side of haha
> 
> ALSO BLUE HOUR IS HERE AND IM IN LOVE  
> you are busy streaming, right~? jk ❤️ take care of yourself first!!


	19. just having a moment w my 2 braincells

The thing is, Soobin was a half in half out man. That is to say, Yeonjun can hardly get very far before the prince was sputtering "no"'s and "wait, slow down." It was adorable, yes, but each time Yeonjun had to quench his fire privately, giving Soobin time to recover his decorum, until he once again wore the face of royalty. He didn't mind. Given the chance, Yeonjun would have liked to take sex at his own pace too as a child, so he offered that grace and respect to Soobin. 

And because Soobin was a half in half out man, it didn't take much to push him into the water either. He adamantly refused sex itself, but Yeonjun liked to push the limits. Instead of taking his leave to his own room to relieve himself, Yeonjun started doing it in front of Soobin. It started vanilla, just stroking himself to completion as he stared down the younger man, collecting the spunk and disposing of it. All very sterile.

Things escalated, however, and Yeonjun reached a point where he was basically humping the prince's thigh to get off, soiling both their robes and moaning with abandon as Soobin looked on helplessly, but not saying a word against it. At least some of the staff will be glad to know Yeonjun was doing his job, or else what was he getting paid for?

The matter of Soobin's touchiness, however, would soon grow to be a problem. 

Jiwoo had shown Yeonjun the set when it was first being prepared, the grand stage of Soobin's performance. Yeonjun took a few paces around it, familiarizing himself with the path taken, getting a feel for the stage so he could guide Soobin the best he can.

What a strange thought, that he would have the privilege of breaking Soobin in, make him capable of love- in a sense- and soon the prince will be wed, and Yeonjun can return to a normal life. One day, he may proudly say he once fucked the emperor. It would be a strange thing to know Soobin as an emperor. 21 year old Choi Soobin who cried about his troubles while cuddling Yeonjun, who was bored to death by maths but got good grades, and sometimes paced around his room at 3 in the morning, preparing a pitch to the committees, his voice softly seeping through the wall into what used to be Jiwoo's room, now Yeonjun's, lulling him to sleep.

Yeonjun thinks that in all those years, the Soobin he teased love to- thinking it was real love, he didn't know what love was- Soobin had grown into a man with depth. Yeonjun couldn't take the prince seriously when he had said he liked and gave away a kiss to a nobody called Choi Yeonjun. No, it wasn't love back then. Yeonjun feared he couldn't recognize real love even at 22, grappling with symptoms like a fluttering heart, a ball of heat in his stomach whenever Soobin looked his way, so mature and tall and making Yeonjun yearn. He never yearned for a person before.

He yearned for companionship, someone to stop the loneliness of being away from his family, to stave away the fear of losing every friend he made at Aunt Arin's, the burden of being the oldest, the most experienced and level-headed, the one who was trapped in despair for so long he harnessed it. Does that mean he yearned for Soobin, or only what he represented back then?

Before him now, is it the man or the concept he yearned for?

He thought he knew what he wanted.

Yeonjun eyed the pen and paper on his desk and decided to write a letter home to clear his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just ruminating🤔🤔 if i was yj id also have my tiddies in a twist at this point
> 
> this is our bus stop before things start Happening (again). come rest.
> 
> love ya <3 to be honest my progress is slowing down as im adding too many details divergent to the outline. i should learn to write without consequence.
> 
> today i drew two yeonjuns and didnt write much…………… yall should follow me on instagram @broqentoys Hit me up


	20. picking up the pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall😔😔😔

Soobin rubbed his bleary eyes, unbecoming of a prince, when the sunlight wreathed his face, his heavy skull sunken thoroughly into his pillow.

These days seemed to go by faster and faster between work and courtship. As the tension eased between him and Yeonjun, Soobin passively picked up techniques anyway from the older man. Their limbs fit together a little better, he got more used to the honey-rich voice in his ear, moaning and panting obscenities under his charge’s roof and sometimes said silly things back, not so prim as he was in his years of being a prince. Soobin didn’t forget the drunken night Yeonjun came into his room and kissed him forcefully, knowing full well he kissed back in equal enthusiasm. Soobin knew in his mind that truthfully, he was not hesitant even in the slightest bit. Yet he harbored a feeling that he loved someone before and promised his loyalty. He was afraid he began to confuse the two as Yeonjun’s smile sat more and more comfortably in his psyche. At least it kept him off the alcohol for a good while.

And Soobin was aware he needed to learn the full extent of sex and give up his first virginity, but he still tugged at its arm and took a childish comfort in it that he hadn't given himself to someone in such a way, a way that makes the physical body bow to another. He briefly entertained the thought of it, running over possible scenarios of Yeonjun bent under him, a lithe and erotic figure maybe spewing silly, mentorly things about positioning and rhythm while his rosy hole drew him deeper into a soft interior and… Soobin was hard. He felt the heat settle low in his body, a fist-sized lump of burning coal. And above it, a cooling layer of balm to soothe his frantic mind. Yeonjun’s personality was truly sweet. He'd run a gentle hand along Soobin's forearm, murmuring reassurances that Soobin was, in fact, doing just fine. If their professional relationship hadn't been like this, Soobin would have liked Yeonjun to be his real hyung.

After such morning musings, Soobin laboriously dressed for the day. Being crown prince, besides the luggage of a betrothal ceremony, felt like endless days of campaigning and understudying. Yes, Soobin was educated and held informed opinions; he was glad to make a positive difference for his people, but he wondered whether anything he did made a difference at all, or if his father was mitigating his efforts in every area they had a difference of opinion. He thought of the old, harsh man, who was no better than a stranger to him except in a work setting. The meals they shared, too, felt more like daily evaluations of their only son instead of any version of family bonding. To that point, Soobin felt ready to be emperor. He could make a real difference, if he rose to his responsibilities and let out his real thoughts.

With a refreshed mood, Soobin began flipping through the pile of forms on his desk that Jiwoo had brought to him for the day, thumbing at the corners of the pages to check the subsidies allocated this month to various areas of the empire. It was a somewhat tedious job, and normally Soobin's trained eye glossed quickly over the statements for the most important points. Today though, his eye caught on something of intrigue.

As a special inclusion, Soobin had received an annual review as well, which included details not available in the monthly reports. And since he had been mostly focusing on specific projects until now, it was a new privilege to get an annual review. Although it was only mid-autumn… he scanned eagerly through it, all its allocations direct orders from the emperor, annual grants with no strings attached. Squarely in the center of the itemization was a line that read: "Aunt Arin's Childcare Plaza and Home: --100,000 mun".

Soobin's eyes lingered on the small square characters, putting a thumb between his lips as his teeth worried at the nail, thinking.

 _Aunt Arin's, where had he heard of it…_ He picked up the pieces of it one by one. He hadn't seen the carnage before, the bits of his childhood strewn across the floor in porcelain shards, shards from his angry mother's red, red hand. He picked them up slowly, fingers trembling, the sharp edges pressing against the softness of his skin in warning as he cradled them in his palms. He gathered them to his chest and sobbed aloud.

Soobin wiped the droplets from the paper, hissing as they smudged the ink underneath. He did the best to smooth out the paper, putting it back into the stack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mun- old form of currency in korea, before 1900s
> 
> now we're kickin! im glad to continue having enthusiasm in this work, i hope you do too and we can see it through to a complete and good story~
> 
> thank you always!!! lmk what you think. im sorry updates are taking longer eep ive been so busy 🙏


	21. hes got them eyeBrows bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its a bit short, but its one scene.

Soobin walked briskly from his room, dabbing at the corners of his eyes with his sleeves. He needed to find Yeonjun. He turned the corner and slammed directly into a broad chest. 

“I’m so sorry,” Soobin blurted immediately, steadying himself by bracing a hand on the wall beside him. He looked at the striking man he bumped into, whose eyes were filled with first surprise, then darkened.

“Your majesty, hey, fancy running into you.” The man came much too close for Soobin’s liking, leaning into his personal space and smiling, but his strong brows twisted an otherwise welcoming expression.

“My apologies, I don’t believe we’ve met.” Soobin said cautiously. Soobin backed up slightly, feeling along the wall for his footing. He glanced up and down the man, who was broad around the shoulders and had honey brown hair, with a jawline sharp as a blade. If he had to guess, he would assume he was one of the suitors that regrettably fell out of Soobin’s mind.

“I’m Xiaolong. Wang Xiaolong. I’m here to court you, your majesty. My home is in eastern Manchuria and I travelled a long distance to be here, for the mere chance to see you.” He reached out suddenly to take Soobin’s hand in his larger one, clutching it and squeezing slightly, his dark eyes sparkling.

“Hmm.” Soobin tried to peek beyond the suitor. He had to be on his way, he had to talk to Yeonjun about important business. To his dismay, Xiaolong simply caged him in with his broad body, sandwiching Soobin between himself and the wall.

“Ah- if you will excuse me,” Soobin crossed his arms together, trying to puff his chest out and make himself look bigger.

"Wait I- I just wanted to ask," Xiaolong's brow twitched and his smirk fell away; he visibly gulped before continuing. "if you would be interested in going on a date with me. I want a chance to prove I am better than the others." 

"Please move aside, I have somewhere to be." Soobin nearly pleaded, feeling too disoriented to give a proper reply. Finally, the other man moved away. Soobin rubbed where his robes had gotten disheveled, worrying at his bottom lip. He faced Xiaolong squarely and took a deep breath, one hand tugging at the fabric of his sleeve.

"I'm sorry I bumped into you. I will consider a date. I must be on my way, so please let one of my helpers attend to you with what you need, when you encounter them." Soobin said lowly, in a rush. He tried to ignore the slight shivers rippling through his body. As Soobin turned and trotted briskly out of the wing, he felt a strong gaze lingering on his back.

"Hey, what business do you have in the prince's private wing?" The squire called out, making large steps towards Xiaolong, Soobin too far away and occupied with his own thoughts to hear the ensuing exchange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xiaolong showed up a good few chapters ago! he is yiren's cousin. the squire is a man who works closely with jiwoo and the emperor/empress.
> 
> i picked xiaojun as faceclaim for xiaolong but now i feel a bit guilty because he is actually very sweet… still, his face is perfect for this purpose😅
> 
> getting plot heavy again, lets go~ everyone be safe and happy! i am seriously busy this week… six tests…


	22. *peels back skin*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> went back to my roots and wrote the way i started this, by hand in the dark.

Soobin jogged up to Yeonjun, slightly out of breath. The other man stood next to the mailboxes, sliding in a letter with gentle fingers.

“Yeonjun, I-” He stopped abruptly. Yeonjun had tears in his eyes, quivering and reddening by the moment.

“Are you alright hyung?” Soobin reached out a concerned hand to pat Yeonjun’s arm, but the shorter man shied away. He blinked forcefully to keep the tears contained, Soobin bending down to try and make eye contact, eyebrows furrowing with worry. The mailbox rattled softly as a post collector gathered up the letters from the other side.

“It’s nothing, Soobin.” Yeonjun managed to stutter out. “Nothing you can help me with.” He backed away unsteadily, a dismayed Soobin trying to get closer with hesitant steps. His heart hurt for the other man. “It’s my fault.”

Yeonjun reached up to wipe the rims of his eyes with his fingertips. “Sorry to be disorderly before you, your majesty. How can I help you?” Yeonjun asked, voice breaking in the middle. 

“I was just thinking,” Soobin proceeded carefully. Nearby, a cleaner’s sweeping as ground to a halt as they attempted to appear innocuous, well within hearing range.

Soobin exhaled quickly, “that we should talk about something.” Now that he was directly in front of Yeonjun, his enthusiasm has been sapped away, suddenly nervous.

“But,” he pulled the other man to his chest, landing a light kiss on his shorter forehead. “If you’re not up for it, we can find a time that works, okay?”

Yeonjun turned to hide his face in Soobin’s chest, mumbling a quiet “Okay.”

\----------

He had left just like that.

“Eomma,” Yeonjun said half-heartedly. She grunted in response.

“I’m leaving the keys on the counter. Please go to the market to buy yourself some food.” He looked worriedly at her, sitting at the table, reading the paper from two weeks ago. Yeonjun sighed inwardly, knowing he had no way of checking on her until after work, around 10 at night. 

“Eomma,” he said again, almost pleadingly. “Be safe, be well.”

When he got home, the house was silent.

“Eomma?” He whispered. No response. He tread carefully to her bedside, still in his rough, dyed brown work clothes. Her wide eyes stared up at him through the darkness, her blankets pulled up to hide the lower half of her face.

“Eomma did you eat today?” He asked, stroking her hair with a large hand. She shook her head wordlessly.

Yeonjun sighed.

“I’ll go buy us something”

At this hour, the stores and stands were mostly closed, the locks being clipped into place on wooden spokes, the shades let down with a soft clatter. In his sleeping town, Yeonjun whisper-shouted at a keeper who had yet to close, taking half his day’s pay from his purse to buy something ready-made, though the food’s gone stale at this hour. He would have to make time for produce shopping on the weekend.

He brought three pressed sweetbreads home, silently slipping one to his mother. She sat up in bed and nibbled.

It’s happened too many times for Yeonjun to say anything more. When she gets like this, there is no one around to help. Her parents already passed away, and Yeonjun had to make their living.

She was normally fine, with her own idiosyncrasies one could grow to tolerate. And because she was Yeonjun’s mother, he loved her, even when it got difficult. Sometimes, she went into fits, and screamed and cried like a child. No one could get through to her then, but there were anchoring actions her son would run through to restabilize her. And then she didn’t integrate well into the public and stayed a homebody, completing her day’s tasks alone.

Yeonjun knew there were days when she was in a bad mindset, that she could easily spiral into disorder and neglect her health for periods of time. Yeonjun knew this the first time when he was eight and his grandparents ushered him to Aunt Arin’s, back when his mother was much more energetic and destructive and they abandoned him for his safety. Yeonjun knew all this when he left home the second time at 22, knew he wouldn’t see her face nor her hysteria any longer while making over twice his pay just for instructing the prince. Every two weeks, he mailed his checks home with a letter inquiring after her health, as if that was any consolation.

\------------

Soobin finished his work when the moon settled into position in the sky. The day had wound down slowly, leaving every muscle of his overworked body sore. After a poor excuse for a bath, he tiptoed quietly to Yeonjun’s door, peeking in to see if he was still awake. 

The older man wore a perplexing expression, his eyes far far away from his reality. Soobin blushed as Yeonjun began to undress, his movements fluid and unhurried as he shed the silky robe from his body, almost ritualistically. Piece by piece, Yeonjun stripped off the clothes the palace gave him until he was just in his underwear, a cotton fabric protecting his privates. He looked like an ordinary man, his skin unadorned, his musculature still prominent despite a few months away from his old job. Did he work out separately while Soobin tended to his duties?

Yeonjun walked barefooted to the closet in his room, pulling out a suitcase as Soobin looked on, his presence still undetected. From the suitcase, which seemed to hold Yeonjun’s personal belongings, the man took out a set of neatly folded clothes.

The linen was rough and simple, the edges worn away slightly. The cloth had no fancy materials, and it was dyed a modest brown. As Soobin watched, Yeonjun slipped the coarse, worn uniform over his head and his lean body, the shirt catching on his muscles as it was pulled down. He slipped on his pants too, the material loose to allow movement. Yeonjun turned and looked at himself in the mirror, illuminated by the moonlight. His gaze was thoughtful as he examined himself, how he looked after such a long time of upscale fashion.

Then he laid down on the floor next to his bed, crossing his hands over each other and laying them on his chest as he let himself, from head to toe, lay flat on the hardwood floor.

Soobin stayed frozen in place, one hand still bracing the door. He watched until Yeonjun’s breathing steadied, his chest rising and falling gently, eyelids fluttering in his sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoopee! i still love backstory chapters. and a fast update because i suddenly had good ideas yesterday, i wrote before i slept and as soon as i woke as well. 
> 
> be well everyone! stay safe~ i love to hear from you pls pls i really miss some of my old commenters who are probably a bit busy with life at the moment v - v


	23. when you try your best but you dont succeed -coldplay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow im on fire this week huh heres a gift aka a third update
> 
> i whittled away the sharp edges of this subplot because i wanted to be fair to my plot device characters

Soobin was unnecessarily, rudely busy the following days, and he couldn't get a word out about all his history that had bubbled back into his consciousness. It did not help that Yeonjun avoided him at all costs, which was technically skimping out on work, but Soobin was not ready to enact his right yet.

By unnecessarily, he thought with petulance, he meant that he had a date. With Wang Xiaolong. A man he had no strong feelings on, so that's what he would determine today, the best he could as the timid and socially clumsy man he was. It really did no good for him to walk into a new situation with a closed mindset, so he took a few deep breaths before stepping out and greeting the other man, dressed his best in autumn gear for a somewhat brisk afternoon. Perhaps a pleasant date could push Yeonjun out of his mind.

A pleasant thrum ran through Soobin as he saw his handsome suitor waiting at his doorstep, who smiled sweetly and opened his palm, revealing a pine blossom in its center. With Soobin's permission, he inserted the white flower gently into Soobin's hair by his ear, uttering under his breath "Pretty."

Soobin blushed, his cheeks pinking at the casual compliment. Xiaolong grinned widely, his thick eyebrows bending.

Xiaolong was a talker. He liked to say what came to his mind and he let his mouth run due to his anxieties, or so he told Soobin. They strolled through a quaint suburb outside of the capital, Xiaolong's laughter filling the air whenever Soobin uttered something even remotely humorous. He didn't get the fuss about himself, but for Xiaolong, there was clearly a lot at stake. After all, Soobin could be as emotive as a piece of driftwood and it would still foremost be Xiaolong's job to be desirable to the prince, not the other way around.

Another habit of Xiaolong's was casual touching. Soobin knew people loved contact, Yeonjun being one to land a hand on Soobin's shoulder even on the rare occasion he wasn't flirting, but the way Xiaolong's large hand occasionally settled firmly into the dip of his waist, or to lightly ruffle Soobin's hair, in public, it felt a bit much. When he haltingly mentioned it, Xiaolong profusely apologized, distraught, but the forceful energy never left the man. It made him a bit overwhelming, the way his energy drained Soobin instead. It was entirely possible that he was just too nervous, but Soobin began to feel exhausted by his presence.

Bitterly, he thought that the man could not hold a candle to Yeonjun, which was a deeply unfair comparison, to be sure. Yet the truth of the world is often unfair, and all Soobin could think was how much he missed Yeonjun looking and smiling at him.

Xiaolong's assets were remarkably similar to that of his cousin Yiren's, though the way they carried themselves were quite distinct. Whereas Yiren was cool and self-contained, Xiaolong burst with passion and was more animated. Soobin thought vaguely that he may have to choose between the two when the time comes. They were fine people, Soobin would be glad to know them as his friends. He was grateful anyhow, having no friends in his own palace besides Jiwoo noona and Yeonjun, who were obligated by their profession. But of course, the handful of qualified individuals were not here for Soobin, not really. He tried to convince himself that the dark glimmer in Xiaolong's eye was a trick of the light, that he looked at Soobin with nothing but friendliness and good will.

Though the two stayed away from areas with a lot of people, Soobin became drawn to a pop-up seasonal market, coming closer on small excited steps to investigate the shop stands. He really should leave the palace more, but besides organized appearances, the prince was rarely outside on his own terms.

The two approached a jeweler's stand, his burly guard a few paces away lighting tobacco and gulping down boiled water to warm himself.

"Do you happen to know what day it is?" Soobin inquired, fingers playing with the ends of his scarf. The bearded shopkeeper answered, it was October 5th on the lunar calendar. Soobin jumped a little. It will be Yeonjun's birthday tomorrow. Soobin was bewildered at himself for nearly forgetting, but as Yeonjun talked infrequently about his personal details, something like a birthday would only be remembered by luck, and Soobin's memory?

Xiaolong watched as the prince took on new life, looking at the shopkeeper's selection spread on the table and put behind glass cases with glittering eyes. Excited, he glanced at the shopkeeper for permission before delicately picking up a simple adjustable bracelet with two gold-coated links. He liked its simplicity, but he needed more to be convinced. The shopkeeper, seeing his expression, divulged the bracelet's special meaning: "You are the person most precious to me."

"Oh." Soobin gasped softly. Suddenly, he could feel the waves of body heat radiating from Xiaolong, who looked at him, expression unreadable, one arm supporting himself on the table, framing the couple right in front of the shopkeeper. Soobin darted his gaze between Xiaolong's dark eyes, thinking quickly. Of course, it would be rude.

"Xiaolong, you have your ears pierced." Soobin noted.

"Ah, yes, I'm not wearing any earrings today." Xiaolong said in a surprised tone, one hand coming up to touch his pierced earlobe, his face lightening.

"How about these?" Soobin lifted a pair of small golden hoops carefully, positioning them next to Xiaolong's ears. "They pair well with your brown hair." Soobin said earnestly. Xiaolong's eyes lit up.

"I'll take both please," Soobin made up his mind, counting out a small sum of notes and coins from his purse. He bowed and thanked the shopkeeper, happy with his purchases. As he handed Xiaolong the pair of earrings, the other man slipped a small bundle into his pocket. Soobin checked it to see an equivalent amount to what he paid for Yeonjun and Xiaolong's gifts, counted out while Soobin was paying. Soobin tilted his head.

At the end of the date, Xiaolong bent down and requested Soobin to put in the earrings for him. The prince did so gently, and Xiaolong straightened again to look at him. Maybe it was because they were cousins that the same blood in their veins cast the same shadow over their faces, but Xiaolong looked just like Yiren the night Soobin first met her. 

He remembers her lip gloss on his cheek, and more hazily, the way Yeonjun dug his thumb into it, wiping roughly at Soobin's cheek with a snarl on his face. He looked at Xiaolong now.

"It's been nice." He said awkwardly. Xiaolong moved closer in one swift movement, one hand snaking around to wrap around Soobin's waist and back, his expression intense. Without thinking, Soobin pushed back from him, his lip quivering as his body shivered. His courter exhaled through his nose.

"It's been nice."

Soobin watched Xiaolong go. He bent down to change out of his boots and the pine blossom fell from his hair. The weather and wear had shriveled it, the crispy edges brown and curled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idfk what a pine blossom is i made it up
> 
> not the way im a clown by not setting up details ahead of time…… dont worry about me i will definitely repackage this whole thing and do a once-over edit to make it flow better and yeet some inconsistencies
> 
> raise yo mfing hand if you know about the bracelet that motherfucking bracelet gave me brain worms
> 
> extra note on yeonjun's birthday. in the late 1800s, his september 13th birthday would be some day in october on the lunar calendar, which is actually still good for predicting the days of heaviest rain in the year. dont sleep on lunar! its also called the farmer's calendar.
> 
> what do you think~?


	24. that would be our first death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry christmas it's a three in one!

Yeonjun visited the set in the morning when it was still cold enough for his breath to fog. Jiwoo had informed him of its completion with an excited knock on his door. He nodded to the final workers who were making final touches before melding into the shadows. They watched quietly as Yeonjun stepped foot on stage, examining its theme, decoration, and dimension up close. In the traditional style, it was wreathed in glowing crimson lotus blossoms with little faerie lights, gold gilding, on a sturdy, shiny hardwood base complete with wheels for transportation. He bent down and squinted at the ornate carvings lining the two edges of the stage. They were all depicting sexual scenes and the traditional patrons of fertility, with an excessive amount of phallic imagery. Yeonjun straightened his back, blinking at what artisans get paid their commissions for. Then again, his job was to bed the prince and that hadn’t even happened yet.

Yeonjun took some time just to pace around the stage, feeling out the space he had to work with, feeling the texture of the floor, doing a small spin here and a skip there, since the ceremony would be choreographed but not incredibly complex. He had to guide Soobin through all that. A particularly strong breeze cut into his cheek and it dawned on him that there was not much time left with Soobin at all. He was sick to his stomach just thinking of it, so he didn’t. Instead, he let his eyes slip closed and his body flow free and performed a short freestyle quietly for himself, following the silent rhythm in his head.

The faint sound of clapping surprised him when he finished, opening them to find Jiwoo moving her hands at the foot of the stage, smiling faintly.

“Is it going alright Yeonjun? The stage is pretty isn’t it?” She asked cheerily.

“Yes Jiwoo.” He called back. 

“Soobin’s finally on a date, I’m glad.” Jiwoo said as he came down. Yeonjun halted. “A date? With whom?”

“Oh, I’m not entirely sure since they planned it in such short measure, but he looked like an alright boy.” She shivered excitedly. “Out of all these lovely girls and boys, I’m sure he’ll soon find one to his liking.”

“I’ll bet.”

\------------------

When night fell and the skies hushed, Yeonjun was at his desk, reading and writing. He spent more and more time there now, that or honing himself in the gym, letting his thoughts carry him away as beads of sweat ran down his face. Today was his 23rd birthday. Like all the other days he wasted, he sat and thought about what he did to get here, what he had gained at all from being a sex tutor for the freaking crown prince.

The skin on his arms were breaking out into a nervous rash because he thought too much. His blunt nails scratched at the little red bumps, wincing at the way bits of blood bubbled up. He pushed back the silky sleeves of his robes, not wanting to stain them, before shedding them entirely, having fallen into the habit of dressing down in the privacy of his room. Always, he made sure things were neatly organized in his bags, until he realized that in the course of a week, his room had returned to its sterile origins, less lived-in. At some point, his bed was made but never unmade, since the mattress had been too soft to support his spine. He wore robes out in the day, but at night he would change back into the rough and old clothing from his old life, and feel them more comfortable than ever. 

This wasn't the life for him, he knew it. His anxiety piqued at the thought of the inevitable discussion he and Soobin would have, when Soobin lays out the truth Yeonjun pretended did not exist. What would his face look like? Would his eyes still be as warm as they were before? Would his touch still be gentle and kind? Without knowing it, Yeonjun's eyes had filled with tears that began to bubble over, dripping onto his desk. He wished it wasn't this way. He wished he hadn't fallen in love with a prince.

He glanced at the closet, his possessions neatly tucked away. He looked at the gained floor space he made for himself in the past week. He pictured going home to his perpetually dark house, the front step filmed over by gray.

"Yeonjun-hyung." A voice said softly, startling him from his thoughts. Soobin’s knuckles rapped gently against his door. When Yeonjun didn’t respond, just looking at his silhouette through the screen door, Soobin let out a nearly imperceptible sigh.

“I got you a gift.” He continued. Yeonjun walked silently to his door, opening it slightly, just enough to show his shoulders. His head was bent so low that Soobin could see the top of it, jet black tufts ruffled from restlessness.

To his surprise, Soobin simply exhaled with amusement and took Yeonjun’s hand where it laid limply by his side, putting a small box into his palm and gently wrapping his fingers around Yeonjun’s for him to hold onto the gift. He pecked the older man on the top of his head.

“Happy birthday hyung. Sleep well.” Soobin said, almost mockingly sweetly, left Yeonjun to his own devices far too soon and not quickly enough. Yeonjun stayed unmoving, feeling his cheeks heating. When the steam finished letting from his ears, he slammed his door shut.

Yeonjun stayed up that night. He sat down at his desk and opened the velvety box, which was a fiesty red. The whole thing smelled fresh, like it had been outside in the cold all day, graced by sunlight and blue sky. His fingers rifled through thin tissue paper, finding a bracelet underneath. It had two golden loops linked together and then tied together with an adjustable black ribbon. He wanted to cry at the look of it in his work-roughened hands. It was far too expensive and delicate, the tiny links glistening by the oil lamp at his desk. Through blurry eyes, he slipped on the bracelet, pulling gently at the ribbon until it fit his left wrist snugly.

Yeonjun examined the box more closely and found a small slip hidden in its cushion. He put it closer to the light to read the fine print, the penmanship regal and careful. 

_You are the person most precious to me._

He was absolutely, totally done for.

\------------

So, no, Yeonjun didn’t get a lot of sleep, wrestling and turning on his makeshift bed on the floor, which worked out fine, because some time after midnight he heard new footsteps echoing faintly from the entrance into Soobin’s wing. He knew they were someone else’s, because Soobin’s room was a good few meters deeper into the interior of the wing than Yeonjun’s room, and the man had been asleep since he gave Yeonjun the bracelet (Maybe he snuck out of his room at midnight to check up on his prince, whom he hadn’t looked in the eye for days. So what?).

He also knew it wasn’t a servant, because if they had anything for Soobin they could come in directly through the back entrance with far lower likeliness to accidentally wake the prince.

Yeonjun’s eyes shot open and he padded to his door in his night clothes, eyes tracking the shadow moving hesitantly down the hall. It stopped at his door, and Yeonjun could hear the nervous breathing of a young man. Yeonjun waited a meter shy of it, positioning himself just so that when the intruder inevitably peeked in, Yeonjun would not be immediately seen.

He waited for the sound of the sliding door, then a brown-haired head peeked in cautiously, the eyebrows dark and heavy.

_Come the fuck on._

Yeonjun shot out a strong arm to grab Xiaolong by the windpipe, forcibly dragging the man into his room.

“You got lost or something?” He hissed at the sputtering and choking man, holding him up to eye level. “Just happened to wander into the prince’s wing?” He had the audacity to weakly nod, though tears were already forming at the corner of his eyes, his hands pawing to no avail at Yeonjun’s shirt.

Yeonjun switched grips, finally letting go of his throat and taking Xiaolong’s collar with his left instead, twisting the fabric as the other man ceased struggling. He seemed to be having a breakdown, his lip doing that quivering thing and his eyes were quivering too and yeah. He was a kid, but he wasn’t _stupid_.

“Give me one good reason to not wake Soobin and have him see you just like this. Pathetic fucking worm. You talk ill about him one second and act like a creep the next, you’re lucky he’s too nice to have evicted you on sight.” He spat in Xiaolong’s face. Oh, the tears were coming in full force now.

“Why are you crying? It’s a bit unfair isn’t it.” Yeonjun asked flatly, not at all disposed to empathy.

“M-my f-f-father…” Xiaolong sniffled pitifully, his handsome face crumpling.

“Your father? You’re worried about what he thinks of you yeah? If you don’t ‘measure up’, or something like that?” Yeonjun coo’ed in a cruelly mocking tone. When Xiaolong sank further down, Yeonjun released him and sighed.

“Gonna be real with you kid, I don’t really care what personal issues you’ve got, if you ever try to take them out on Soobin, I will break your fucking neck.” Yeonjun said. “You’re still young, go back home and don’t rush finding romance.” His own words tingled in his mouth, but he was too enraged to let them linger for long.

Xiaolong’s expression faltered when he saw the glint of gold on Yeonjun’s wrist. Yeonjun became aware of it too, flicking his wrist nervously. He wondered if Xiaolong could see through his guilt. Maybe that’s why he’s so antagonistic. Yeonjun thought of the long line of expectant youth lining up for the position he has, the position Yeonjun got by talking to Jiwoo directly. He had been too self-absorbed to notice the others in the final lineup, but perhaps one of them was a familiar face with strong eyebrows.

“Okay,” Yeonjun said abruptly, wanting to be rid of the boy. “I’m gonna countdown from three and if you’re not gone by one I will scream.”

"Three."

Xiaolong picked himself up off the floor, still wearing that defiant expression.

"Two."

"He picked that bracelet out at the temporary market. " Xiaolong wiped his chin as he spoke, his eyes reddened. "The way he lived and breathed for you, you should've seen it."

Yeonjun flattened his lips. "One."

Xiaolong scurried away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been psyching myself out about this piece even though i put in so much thought... it'll be ok. i cannot really be humorous here so no funnie title, so sad.
> 
> ALSO TXT KINGS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WORLDWIDE FANS CHOICE AND BEST DANCE PERFORMANCE GROUP WOOOOOO BITCHES


	25. *grabs my saxophone*

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Soobin learned of this concept in his history textbooks, and during his father and grandfather's reigns, desperation was not in short supply. Rather, it was a turgid, rolling gray cloud, and his people braced themselves for the downpour.

"Not quite so dramatic, Soobin." He muttered to himself outside Yeonjun's door. And yet wasn't it? He felt as though he would die the longer Yeonjun was absent from his side, turning around sometimes with excitement, an idea to share on the tip of his tongue, and be left wanting for the older man, who was not by his side. On the morning after Yeonjun's brithday, Soobin burst into his room, unprincely yet authoritarian. He plopped down on the hard floor beside Yeonjun where he laid, marveling at the curves of his face, the unusually dark eye circles, jolted from sleep when Soobin grabbed his cheeks tightly, pushing his mouth on the elder's and using every technique Yeonjun taught him for salacious kissing.

Yeonjun hummed into Soobin's mouth with surprise, hands stalling but eventually finding their way onto Soobin, one grasping at the hair on his neck and the other on his chest, neither pulling nor pushing. Soobin however, made sure to put his hands where it feels good, one lightly squeezing Yeonjun's waist and the other holding his chin gently, feeling the soft and dainty bone structure. The two finally drew away for breath.

"You- Why- I didn't intend for you to see me like this." Yeonjun stuttered, spit-stained lips parted in surprise, a bit of bed hair sticking up and framing his pretty jaw.

"It's fine. It’s seriously fine." Soobin said. “All of it.” He meant it.

"It's shameful. Why do you think I never mentioned it." Yeonjun finally croaked out, his voice breaking.

"So… you know." Soobin began and stopped, the words sizzling on his tongue. "I remembered, finally."

"Ah- but- I didn't entirely forget!" Soobin stammered out quickly, raising a pinky finger shyly. Yeonjun looked at him in silence, propping himself up by his arms and frozen in place.

"I knew I had someone I loved, someone I promised myself to, because they promised so much of themself to me…" Soobin cradled his hand in the other. "I just-" He drew his eyebrows together, crinkling them in puzzlement and frustration, looking down at the fabric of his robe, all bunched together in his lap.

"I lived so long without any memory of it. It was totally by chance that I regained my precious time with them… with you. But I held onto that promise." He insisted. 

"What happened to you for you to lose your memory." Yeonjun said in a dangerous tone. "What the fuck did they do to you?"

Soobin could only shake his head wordlessly. Yeonjun sighed.

"Now you know how terrible I am." Yeonjun said. "Everything I've done to you. Even now I am brazenly breathing the same air as you, and for what?"

"Not at all," Soobin retorted in earnest. "After all our time together, how could I possibly think you're anything but wonderful?" He leaned forward, making Yeonjun shift backward instinctively. Soobin tried to keep the hurt from his face.

Yeonjun looked at him in disbelief, his mouth agape. He put his hands up to cover his eyes and groaned. "All the effort I put into hiding my origins, it's all for naught. Is it not shameful? I should be scorned. For leaving my eomma, for my escapism from the commoner's work, for playing with a prince's body and feelings. I even- it’s me who made you suffer." He sobbed.

"I still… you were my best friend." Soobin swallowed the lump in his throat. "Life gets hard, it does. But I know your wonderful aspects too, you know. Even if my head forgot, my heart didn’t."

“We aren’t the way we were,” Yeonjun’s voice dulled down to a whisper. “We’re not free any longer.”

"What am I supposed to do about that? I'm not the emperor." Soobin said sadly. He paused, working up his courage. "You can have me still. I own a part of me still, and I'll gladly give it to you."

"You mean…"

Soobin worried over his pink lip, feeling the blush creep over his face as he felt Yeonjun’s gaze on him. “I’ve secretly wanted _it_ , you know?” He whispered.

"Come to my room, Yeonjun?" The prince asked, breathing very shallow now, only half-believing in himself. The older man let himself be strung along by his sleeve, a dazed look on his face. Or perhaps dazzled?

\------------

Jiwoo wrung her hands together and wondered if she had done the right thing after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i took a short break after all because i was having a bit of trouble with transitional scenes.


	26. food's here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today i am reminded that this is really just my first draft and that i have distinct details i want to change/enhance
> 
> sorry for the somewhat long wait lovelies ive been writing other fics TT and i wanted to make it good~

_don’t forget me, don’t forget_

_burn this moment into your head_

_tomorrow i’ll be far from here_

_there’ll be a stranger in my stead_

And his heart was pounding, pounding, pounding. It beat so hard against his chest that he thought he would explode. Wasn't it all so different now, he thought in the short time it took the two to walk briskly to Soobin's more spacious room, now that he knew- that _Yeonjun_ knew- they wouldn't stop at a kiss. They would both get what they wanted, eachother, in as full measure as the physical plane allowed. His fingers felt absentmindedly at the rough cotton of Yeonjun's shirt.

Soobin remembers the first time Yeonjun came into his room uninvited, how easily Soobin cried to him though they had just met, how warm his body was. He didn't know bodies could be so warm.

Yeonjun noticed the bottle of oil on Soobin's nightstand, and the prince tried his best to not break out in nervous laughter. There's nothing to be nervous about now, and eyes won't see that he loved Yeonjun, no they won't.

"How should we begin, my prince?" Oh, he was so handsome Soobin could cry. How come such a beautiful man was born into poverty and struggle? There was cruelty in the world, but still Soobin believed in it. The wear only made Yeonjun more beautiful, the eyebags and the work-toughened hands. Soobin must look a mess still, having only briefly glanced at his bedhead in the mirror before impulsively stepping into Yeonjun's room, the door of which was slightly ajar. They were both disheveled and raw in the early morning and he preferred it that way.

Yeonjun tilted his head at Soobin, bringing the man back to his senses.

"Oh! Uh, whatever you think is best, tutor-nim?" He could be flirtatious now, there was no one to see them, to know what happened behind Soobin’s door. The air was giddy, like they were children again who had no thought of life’s responsibilities and did what they felt, as Yeonjun made the first move to push Soobin onto his bed, his lavender robes fanning out as he sank gently into the mattress. The two men skipped a few steps as Yeonjun went right for the silks that bound the robes closed, shedding the opulent fabric layer by layer to reveal Soobin’s smooth, pale skin, his chest rising and falling rapidly as Yeonjun straddled him.

Soobin worried at his lip as Yeonjun grabbed a fistful of his own rough cotton work clothes.

"Um-that-"

"No need to explain." Soobin waved his worries away, reaching out large hands to help Yeonjun shed his clothes, his thighs bulging as they flexed. The body of a working man really was admirable. Soobin was entranced by the older man's nipples, his tanned brown areolas oval in shape and taut around his pecs. Without thinking, Soobin took both sensitive buds and tweaked them, making Yeonjun gasp sharply before softening to a whine. A cute blush adorned his cheeks as his forearms folded to cover his chest.

"Geez." He complained, taking revenge by pushing apart Soobin's robe and running his hands over the expanse of his chest, rubbing and kneading as if he had breasts, squeezing the supple flesh with abandon.

"Is this part for supplemental credit?" Soobin joked.

"Only if you pass the test," Yeonjun quipped, reaching a hand down to stroke Soobin's cock to hardness, his fingers running along the shaft and teasing the head of it, feeling and seeing the glittery preejaculate well up. Seeing Soobin's hands still tightly bound to his sides and curled in fists, Yeonjun took his digits and loosened them.

"No shame in it," Yeonjun mumbled. "Stroke yourself." Soobin took a hold of himself reluctantly, thrusting in the tight circle of his fist slowly, feeling his throbbing heat pulsing as the spongy firm appendage pushed through the ring of his fingers, viscous and burning up. Meanwhile,Yeonjun shifted on the bed over Soobin's thighs, grabbing the bottle from the nightstand. Soobin couldn’t help but look at Yeonjun’s cock. It was not an entirely new image after their bathtub tryst, but the lighting was better and he could actually _smell_ the older man, his head going dizzy with his senses. An uncircumsized and girthy tool nestled in coarse, dark pubic hair, it strictly speaking had no place in their session. But shouldn’t a prince be able to get what he wants?

"When the ceremony begins, they should have already been loosened backstage. Men in general need more preparation than women." Yeonjun said seriously, drizzling oil into his palm and rubbing his hands together to smooth it out. "I will just demonstrate for you how it's done, since it has been quite a while for me since I've bottomed."

"Who was…?" Soobin asked haltingly. Perhaps it wasn't his place.

Yeonjun smiled sadly. "Does it matter if I don't get to see their face anymore?" He reached out a hand to guide Soobin's wrist, putting in two long fingers beside his own, tugging at the rim and scissoring inside hot, wet flesh. It was his most intimate parts and Soobin marveled at his privilege.

“These bastards, they never tell you if they’re married first even if you ask. Do you know how painful it is to be the secret?” Yeonjun gritted out, gasping as he began thrusting up to his knuckles, guiding Soobin’s hand as well.

“No,” Soobin breathed softly.

“‘Course, you’re the prince, I hardly expect eyes are ever _off_ you.” Yeonjun chuckled. He shifted up further on the bed, one hand wrapped around Soobin’s shoulder for leverage. His other hand he wiped hastily on his discarded pants then raised to Soobin’s chin, holding the other man’s face close to his, their noses nearly touching.

“Don’t forget me. Burn this moment into your mind.” Soobin could feel his hot breath on his face. The wind blew through the slightly cracked open window, making the hairs raise on Soobin’s neck.

Positioning himself over Soobin and facing him, Yeonjun slowly lowered himself over the twitching head, wincing. He pressed one hand over Soobin’s hips, keeping the younger man from thrusting until he was fully hilted, letting out a sigh of relief as he sat down on Soobin’s thighs, holding the slightly twitching prince.

The sensation was unlike anything Soobin had ever felt. The human heat squeezed him like a vice, Yeonjun’s pulse thrumming through his sensitive length. It burned where they connected, Soobin reaching around gentle fingers to touch Yeonjun’s puffy pink rim in wonder.

“Good, right?” Yeonjun grinned. _More than that, far more._ “Remember there is no need to rush, so you want to start slow. There’s a certain level of grace you can maintain.” Thighs bulging, Yeonjun began to raise and lower himself at a leisurely pace over Soobin, going down all the way and coming back up with small pants, red tongue lolling out and retreating back into those plump cherry lips at the pleasure.

“There’s an organ inside the male called the prostate inside, you want the natural curve of your dick to hit that spot when you want it to feel good. Similarly-positioned in females is the g-spot in her vagina.” Yeonjun explained, grinding purposefully so that Soobin would feel it inside. Soobin concentrated on the sensation and felt the head of his penis pressing internally against a soft bulge below the base of Yeonjun’s cock, which had stirred to arousal and pulsated hard in the air, with nothing to thrust into.

“After that, you just need a basic sense of rhythm. You can count in your head if you want, since you will be the one setting the pace.” Yeonjun let go of Soobin’s pelvis and let his arms support himself on the bed, allowing Soobin to set the pace as he gyrated subtly. Soobin tried following along, doing a basic four-count as he began to thrust hesitantly into the older man, hands grabbing his haunches and moving Yeonjun up and down, Yeonjun becoming excited by the handing over of control.

“It feels really good, hyung.” Soobin cried. “Do you feel good?” He asked desperately, speeding up the movements of his pelvis as he pistoned in and out of Yeonjun's wet heat. Yeonjun captured Soobin’s lips in a kiss, licking along his teeth hungrily as he milked Soobin for all he had.

Suddenly shot with confidence, Soobin reached out and grabbed Yeonjun by the shoulders, pulling out and throwing the older man onto the bed belly first, repositioning and hitting his prostate from behind as he drove his hips into Yeonjun. Soobin splayed a palm over the small of Yeonjun's back to keep him steady, panting with exhilaration and losing his grace as he rutted, his pelvic bone pressing into Yeonjun's buttocks. The older man was letting out beautiful, low moans, and Soobin stuck his fingers into his pouty mouth, pressing against his tongue and making the moans that squeezed out wet and guttural.

"Hyung can I finish inside please?" Soobin asked ever so politely in direct contrast to his swift, deep strokes.

"Let me feel it." Yeonjun goaded, moving his hips along with Soobin's until the prince gasped and shuddered, bowing over Yeonjun and caging him in with his forearms, weakly undulating as his dick pulsed and released in someone for the first time. Blinking away the stars in his vision, Soobin tried futilely to tend to Yeonjun, the ridge of his glans still pressing against Yeonjun's sweet spot as he shifted to tidy his partner's hair.

"Pull out slowly, the skin becomes very sensitive." Yeonjun instructed. Soobin watched as he pulled out, Yeonjun's rosy rim following slightly like it was reluctant to let go. Their sweat-slicked skin had a shiny texture to it, glinting filthily with their juices as the reddened head of Soobin's flushed cock finally reemerged, a small deluge of milky semen following suit and dripping out as Yeonjun's hole gaped once, then winked closed. The older man collapsed onto the bed with a soft whine and Soobin hurried to his side.

"Are you alright Yeonjun?" He asked with warm concern, his face flushed as he sidled meekly up to his bed partner.

"Just about perfect." Rolling over lazily, Yeonjun pressed a smiling kiss to Soobin's lips, giggling a little from the high. One hand absentmindedly played with Soobin's length and it stiffened again, eager for a second round. The man in question stuttered out in embarrassment when Yeonjun slid down and took Soobin between his plush lips.

"God…" Soobin moaned, throwing his head back as Yeonjun suckled gently on the still-sensitive head then swallowed his length down whole, the tightness of his throat enveloping Soobin's dick in heat, his esophagus contracting on instinct as Yeonjun choked himself on the other man, tears prickling his eyes as his cheeks bloomed with red. When Yeonjun pulled off for breath, his puffed gasps were warm on Soobin's cock, his cherry lips glossed with precum and spit and looking ravaged. Soobin could only watch helplessly as Yeonjun dove back in to finish the job, bobbing his head up and down and swirling his tongue around to stimulate the throbbing penis.

With a warning cry, Soobin came, Yeonjun letting out a whimper as thick ropes of ejaculate were shot down his throat.

"Oh my god I am so sorry-" Soobin gasped, swiping a thumb across Yeonjun's cheek to wipe his tears as he drew back and coughed.

"As expected, a prince tastes clean and sweet." Yeonjun wheezed out. Somewhere in the process, Yeonjun had also released, his thighs streaked with cum. Soobin felt guilty for not noticing earlier that Yeonjun hadn't come, but the older man did not linger on it.

"Come here hyung." Soobin wrapped a naked Yeonjun into his arms and breathed in their scent deeply, reveling in the feeling of flesh on flesh, the slight fuzz of human skin making the contact more pleasurable. The words lingered unspoken between them.

"Thank you, Yeonjun." He mumbled into Yeonjun's hair. Yeonjun reached out a hand to pinch Soobin's left buttcheek.

"You're welcome, Your Majesty."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *smacks table* more pictures of spiderman!!!!
> 
> thanks for your patience as i invariably stumble a bit through my long works 🙏🙏🙏please take care!!! happy early new year to all~


	27. you must be nervous

"Soobin dear?" Jiwoo knocked softly on the prince's door. When no response came, Jiwoo creaked open the door slowly. She knew for a fact Soobin was not out and about, since the whole palace was missing him for breakfast and the morning briefing. What on earth was he doing then?

Peeking inside, she first blushed, then grew tender at the sight. Yeonjun and Soobin, curled up in each other's arms, the sheets strewn over themselves to cover their modesty and the two of them fast asleep though it was approaching late morning. Yeonjun had nestled his head under Soobin's chin and the crown prince had an arm draped protectively over the other man's back, hugging him intimately close.

They looked the perfect pair, sleeping in eachothers arms peacefully. Jiwoo backed out, closing the door again silently. The news could wait.

"What's happening?" The squire scowled as Jiwoo reemerged without Soobin. "The complete disregard for His Majesty’s own schedule is horrendous."

"There's nothing of importance today anyway," Jiwoo waved him off. 

"Except?" He pressed.

“I’m sure the emperor and empress are waiting with bated breath for their son’s choice of spouse.” Jiwoo said flatly.

“The way things are going, Her Majesty may have to take over emergency powers.” The squire tilted his face to the sky.

“Surely you have some degree of faith in our doctors? It’s not _that_ serious. The emperor has been healthy all his life.” She was in no mood to entertain him, but it certainly wasn’t of _no_ concern that a man in the frailties of his mid-60s would come across some problems.

\-------------

"So you have to choose someone today and or because your father had a stroke?" Yeonjun asked half laying on Soobin's bed, half-dressed as Soobin broke the news, already dressed as Jiwoo had ushered him to a corner of the wing to tell him.

“It seems so.” Soobin sighed. 

“I hope the emperor will be okay.” Yeonjun said, reaching out a hand to rub Soobin’s arm.

“Yeah, I hope so too.”

The room was silent for a moment.

“You should be a good son and see him.” Not a word about the inevitable.

“Mother, father.” Soobin bowed at the entrance of the emperor’s study where his bedridden father had been moved so that he could continue work. His mother stood by his side; in the corner, the squire, and near the entrance, Jiwoo noona.

“My son.” The emperor reached out his paper-y hands to take Soobin’s in his own. Soobin kneeled down on one knee to greet his father at eye level, his expression intent and caring.

“Tomorrow will be the last day of the fall. I suspect that the turbulence in my blood is correlated to the change of season, but rest assured the crown will not go down so easily."

"After all," the old man smiled encouragingly. "We have you as our future." He patted a numb Soobin on the shoulder. Soobin's gaze dropped, trying to tamp down the shame welling in his stomach.

"All the same, even the greatest emperor must remember his own mortality. So I ask." The Choi patriarch's tone became stern, but not chiding.

"I know you are a dawdling boy, and a considerate boy," His mother scoffed in the background. "But I want you to report back to me tomorrow with your choice of spouse. We cannot stall with such an important ceremony and it would be a kindness to your suitors for you to decide quickly. Right, boy?"

Soobin dared to look up at his father who made an attempt at a friendly smile, his eyebrows permanently creased together. He looked at his mother, who had a clawed hand draped over the back of the emperor's chair.

"Yes, father." Soobin gulped out. The whole room smiled back at him with varying levels of sincerity.

\------------

"Ms. Wang Yiren, may I talk to you for a moment?" Soobin asked hushedly, standing in the arched doorway of her suite.

Jiwoo stood watch a few meters away, full of gentle compassion for her boy, who was picking at the expensive silk of his sleeves and looked like he was going to throw up as the well-mannered girl emerged from her room to greet him. They strolled to the small courtyard, making small chit chat on the way. Jiwoo attributed it to the nerves, yet what was this guilt that prickled at her skin?

She has seen this exact scene before, seen Soobin stand before someone with his heart open, the wind rustling his hair the same way. Her hearing cut out as she looked on, blood rushing in her eardrums and her bottom lip quivering as Soobin's lips moved to say something. Yiren let out a graceful but open-mouthed laugh, leaning into Soobin with a hold on his arm as she smiled at him with crescented eyes.

Soobin took her left hand in his and bowed to kiss the back of it, brushing his lips over soft skin.

Jiwoo felt faint.

"Madam?" She startled at a touch on her arm. The presence was a young man with dyed brown hair and striking eyebrows. He looked not unkind, just concerned. "Are you alright? Your face is frightfully pale."

"Ah…" Jiwoo touched a trembling hand to her cheek. "I'm alright, thank you young man." She took a closer look at the boy.

“Oh? You look familiar. Siblings?” Jiwoo referred to Yiren.

“Wang Xiaolong. Cousins.” Xiaolong bowed to her.

“Well, congratulations to your family. It seems His Majesty has made a favorable choice.” 

“Of course, it is great news. I’m waiting to give her my congratulations.” Xiaolong gave a small smile. Jiwoo could see a bit of resentment in his eyes, barely kept at bay. Young and ambitious men tended to be like that.

“You know, you could go pray at the temple in the palace. It’s a good place to collect your thoughts and move onto a new chapter of your life.” She said helpfully, wringing out the anxiety from her hands. 

“I didn’t know there was such a place here.” Xiaolong said, surprised. “I will pay a visit before I head back home.” He scratched the back of his neck absentmindedly.

Jiwoo smiled warmly at him. “It’s secluded alright, it’ll give you some peace and quiet in this palace. It’s in the northeastern garden, the one with irises. It can be our empire’s final act of hospitality for you. Look, they’ve finished talking.” She turned her head back to the young couple.

“Ah biaojie…” She could hear Xiaolong exclaim hushedly, arms extended in greeting as he rushed towards his cousin.

In the same fashion, Jiwoo stepped towards Soobin, the young couple having parted.

“You found a good girl, didn’t you?” She asked, eyes glimmering hopefully. Soobin’s expression did not mirror hers.

“Yes noona, she’s nice.” He smiled impassively at his former caretaker, taking Jiwoo into his arms and hugging her tightly to hide his face, placing his chin on her head.

“You must be nervous.” _Are you sad about it?_

“I am. There is so much left to be done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> with the change of weather into winter, blood vessels constrict so strokes are more likely. look after your elders over the holidays!
> 
> biaojie- older cousin (female)
> 
> yes a fast update... it's break and i have time. hopefully you like it <3 happy new year moa! thank you for staying with me this long. I've also started putting down notes of places i want to improve the story or tie in some plot points earlier in the story, so maybe you can look forward to that.


	28. losing me… losing you

In the evening, Soobin did not go back to his room. Instead, he spent it perched half off of Yiren’s bed a meter away from her (as much distance as permitted), making cotton-filled conversation about their future together. Something about the robe fitting, how nervous they were about performing in front of the empire, what it would be like to be emperor and empress in the future. Something like that.

“Your Majesty,” Yiren reached out and put a gentle hand over his where it was unconsciously fisted into the bedsheets, his knuckles white. “You seem distracted from our conversation.” Soobin shook his head quickly, wide eyes trained on her pretty face, which was particularly white and radiant in the low light of her oil lamp.

“I just feel like we perhaps didn’t get to talk that much and we can take some time to get to know each other if your schedule permits, so you can feel a little better about your decision.” She tangled her fingers together, talking at a grindingly tranquil pace, assured in herself. Soobin opened his mouth and closed it soundlessly.

“Do you even like me?” He stared at the shape of her lips as they mouthed the words, his vision in slow motion.

“I like you.” He said.

“More than you like Yeonjun?”

Soobin licked his lips before pressing them together. Only heir to the Choi clan. Crown prince of Korea, a flourishing nation and empire, Soobin himself the prime model of excellence, wealth, and regality. The warm understanding in Yiren’s eyes, like she knew the answer and already accepted it, made him pour it all down the drain.

“What if I said no?” He whispered in a small, scared voice.

\-----------

“Hm, no Soobin tonight?” Jiwoo muttered, ducking her head into the prince’s room. The bed was made in an unusual way. She stepped inside without fanfare and rearranged the blankets the way Soobin had liked it since he was small. 

Then it was Yeonjun who peeked inside from the other door, fresh from a shower by the looks of his damp hair, which still had droplets of water clinging to the clumps.

“Soobin?”

“No, just Jiwoo.”

“Ah noona.” He sighed, walking into the room to embrace her in a heavy hug, the world's sadness in his shoulders. They stayed in the hug for a while, neither saying a word.

Jiwoo was the first to break. Tears began to roll uncontrollably down her face as the two of them stood in silence in the middle of the prince’s room, Yeonjun’s larger body engulfing hers.

“Yeonjun, I made a mistake didn’t I. I hurt you both, didn’t I.”

“No Jiwoo.” He said quietly, a weight in his throat. “It’s a gift to have known heartbreak.” His voice had become gravelly. 

“But you love each other.” She sniffled.

“I love him more than he loves me. That’ll be enough to do what needs to be done.” Yeonjun flashed a joyless grin at her, self-confident. His eyes had wetness in them, making them tremble with each movement.

He put a hand to his chest and took a deep breath. “I’m not anybody, Jiwoo. You’re my friend, so you waste your energy on me and forget that I’m not worth anything. Tomorrow when they finish the robe fitting, I’ll run him through the actual dance, no sweat. Then I’ll leave. Lord knows I’ve taken advantage of your hospitality for too long.”

\-----------

Yiren reached up and patted his head, a feat for a petite girl and a hulking boy. But maybe his back was just bent very low, like the fatigued trunk of a tree after taking the beating of a thunderstorm.

“I don’t mind.” She said frankly. Soobin looked at her in surprise.

“I hardly expected to find love in the first guy I courted, even if he _is_ the prince of Korea.” She giggled, her face a flawless, porcelain mask as her lips curved gracefully. “It's for my family more than anything.”

“But in the end, it’s okay for me. I’m not the kind that needs love to be happy.” She was still beaming unnaturally bright, like it was all a game and she was the predetermined winner. She seemed very powerful, somehow. Powerful and beautiful in her own assuredness, a life precalculated.

“I wish I could be like you.” Soobin said, feeling quite queer about the sound of his own voice. He looked out the window at the navy sky. “Ah, it’s getting late.”

“Should I accompany you back to your room?” Yiren asked.

“No, it is alright. A lady mustn't walk alone in the dark. But… thank you.” He patted her hand in sincere gratitude and headed out. 

The night was cold and the wind cut into Soobin’s cheek. He shivered in his robes, his steps slowing as he tried to hold in the queasiness in his stomach. His vision was dimming and brightening uncontrollably, the ground swaying beneath his feet. He dropped painfully to his knees and propped himself up on a stone bench in the courtyard, upheaving acrid bile and chunks of dinner onto the roots of an innocent tree nearby.

 _Repulsed._ Perhaps that was the right word. Repulsed by a clean-cut, utilitarian life. Repulsed by the crown on his head and repulsed by Yiren's smooth fair complexion, everyone he looked to and grappled at the sleeve of. The common denominator? Himself.

Soobin glanced up at the blurry stars and racing clouds, taking in the way the domed black sky curved inwards over his head and celestial bodies watched him collapse into pieces, never having been enough for this world in the first place. He turned his head away from its overbearing splendor and cried into the crook of his arm, stewing in his own spit and tears as they soaked into his silk sleeve.

After resting a while, his reddened cheek pressed into the cool marble of the bench as he sat on the ground defeated, he sighed and stood back up, hobbling to his bedroom and thinking of nothing but rest as he collapsed into his made sheets with a heavy sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is your drama... *strums guitar sadly*
> 
> a fun thing i did, i finished this chapter early and decided to hold off on sending it out (id be spoiling you. this level of productivity is not sustainable)
> 
> and added a bit of padding to it, wove in some more meaningful symbolism, and i like it much better than before! same as art, you need to come back with fresh eyes and a fresh mind to improve a piece.
> 
> love ya <3 SMASH that like button an dont forget to soobscribble for more (ventfics) yeonbin😜😜😜


	29. a feeling of vengeance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh a Phat one

In the morning, Soobin was curled up half off of his bed, and Yeonjun gave a chuckle at the sight before wetting a towel for him, wiping off his bile and tear-streaked cheeks gently.

Soobin blinked sleepily awake, looking at Yeonjun with unfocused eyes as the older man scooted closer on the bed, propping his chin up slightly to finish cleaning him, the prince humming in appreciation at Yeonjun's soft touch.

"Rough night?" Yeonjun asked, adjusting and fixing the dark strands of Soobin's hair with a hand before caressing his cheek.

"Incomparably so." Soobin rasped out.

"Well I hope you're up for a bit of physical activity today despite that." Yeonjun patted his head one last time and stood up, motioning for Soobin to rise quickly and begin the day's work after morning settled in.

Yeonjun followed Soobin to his robe fitting and sat in the corner, a quick twenty minutes that he spent observing the prince to his desire, the tailor circling Soobin with a look of concentration in her eye. He spent all his time looking at Soobin because Yiren was sitting right next to him, waiting her turn. They accidentally made eye contact and Yiren smiled at him, friendly. In sync, they turned their gazes back to Soobin, whose face pinked at double the attention. 

There was something erotic about that too; Yeonjun blamed a dirty mind. The tape measures evidence of the broadness of Soobin's shoulders, the fullness of his chest, and the slenderness of his waist, the legs with curves like the flow of a river. His proportions were a neat summation printed on a stunning report card. Though, Yeonjun surmised, the categories assessed would most aptly be "blessings" and "purism". 

Of course a pretty bloom in a fertile, well-watered garden is near guaranteed. If it fell short by happenstance, however, then Yeonjun imagined that it would never feel as free as a weed flower that strained against the odds through the cracks of the ground, stubbornly and fearlessly alive under the beating sun and torrential rain. No, Soobin was the most beautiful flower, the centerpiece of the most luxurious gated garden all of Korea's reverence could muster. Was that an unfair comparison for the flower, Yeonjun wondered.

Yeonjun watched wordlessly as Soobin stepped down from the fitting stool carefully one leg at a time, heading in his direction with an embarrassed smile on his face and his hands playing with themselves. Before he could say a word, it was Yiren who stood and gave Soobin a loose hug with one arm before moving past to greet the tailor. Soobin smiled slightly at her too.

"Ready?" Yeonjun asked.

\----------------

"Principally, don't forget the message you are sending." Yeonjun clapped his hands together once for emphasis, Soobin standing with his hands tucked in his pockets and nodding along, ever the dutiful student. Yeonjun stood with his back straight and his feet apart, feeling like he was training his soldier for war.

"You are the crown prince." Soobin nods.

"Your bride is worthy, but more importantly _you_ are worthy." He shakes his head up and down.

"You are strong, masculine, and sexually powerful." Affirmative.

"You are our future leader."

Yeonjun giggled. “Are you feeling fired up?” He punched the air a few times with soft fists in an attempt to bring some levity back into Soobin’s face.

“I’m ready.”

“Great. Take your place in the center of the stage, I'll walk you through the choreography."

Soobin approached the middle of the stage, then stood in his place with his shoulders open and wide, his gaze already far away and stoic as though he was envisioning his subjects before him. _A ruler he shall be._

"Alright. After presenting yourself, miss Yiren will walk up on your right-hand side." Yeonjun called, performing the same action to stand by Soobin, making eye contact before looking out to the high horizon. The sky was crystal blue in the morning.

"Flatter each other with your stances." Yeonjun noted, gulping as Soobin looked him up and down with his side-eye, his gaze analytical and dry as he minutely shifted the way his feet were pointed, his chest and shoulders holding their place and his face devastatingly handsome. This was going to be a long rehearsal.

"Good." Yeonjun murmured now that he was closer. "First is a kiss. Dip me in your direction to turn your face outwards. Walk through the motion with me." Yeonjun put Soobin's hand on the small of his back, relishing the gentle pressure and implicit trust as Soobin dipped him lower and lower, shifting their center of balance closer together as Yeonjun lightened the pressure on his feet and onto his tiptoes, extending his legs in a high curve with his lithe figure. Soobin's lips were slightly parted, his eyes dark and serious as he breathed steadily, nose a short distance from Yeonjun's. His grip was warm on Yeonjun's back as the older man braced his right hand on Soobin's chest, the other holding his cheek, his thumb stroking the peach fuzz there as he thought.

"Okay back up now." He ordered, entranced as Soobin's bangs, which had come down and framed his face in shadow, returned to cover the skin of his forehead, the sun washing out the darkness in his impassive expression.

The mood was unusually thick, Yeonjun wondering if he had failed in some way. Well, even if it was dull, he had to do his job to prepare Soobin well. He decisively took a half circle around Soobin's back, one hand attached to the prince's waist as he walked, Soobin's head turning silently to watch him as he moved to lay down on the bed on the stage, arms raised above his head. Yeonjun unconsciously bit his lip and watched the taller man swoop in, slotting his narrow hips far too perfectly between Yeonjun's spread legs, his brow furrowing slightly as he leaned into position and put his clenched hands on both sides of Yeonjun's head, biceps flexing as he caged the older man in with his body.

"This is position one, missionary. We have five total to go through." Yeonjun listed on his fingers, Soobin’s hips still pressing on his, completely still. 

“You go for um… as long as you feel is necessary, but you must get through all five.” It was tradition. He didn't seriously study the cultural significance per position, but rest assured lacking in one would lead to criticism.

Yeonjun believed he fell into somewhat of a daze afterwards, feeling Soobin's hands glide along his body every time they changed into a new position. He could tell the prince was losing control of his carefully maintained composure by the moment, his fingers trembling and his breathing growing hot against Yeonjun’s neck. He wanted so badly to touch his cheek with tenderness, give some allowance of emotion and act _human_ , the way they were meant to be.

Yeonjun had his back pressed to Soobin's chest for the last position and felt his heart pounding through his clothes, letting the taller man lift his legs from the ground and support him entirely with his arms, making an obscene "M" shape with his legs. If unclothed, his hole would be on full display, which would be the point. The consummation between the crown prince and his bride would be bared to the heavens.

If Yeonjun thought too hard about who would be taking his place, he could feel red creep into the edges of his vision. Would anyone love Soobin the way he could? Fuck him the way he could? Yeonjun let a smirk creep onto his face as Soobin carried him off-stage on shaky legs to a shaded area, still in plain view of anyone who might walk past. Yeonjun loved to see him crumble. Soobin readjusted and grabbed Yeonjun’s haunches with his two hands to support the shorter man’s weight, pushing his back up against the wall and kissing him forcefully. His hands went under Yeonjun’s robe and ran up his thighs, groping hungrily as Yeonjun’s legs crossed tightly over Soobin’s waist, grabbing Soobin’s face with his hands and kissing back with equal enthusiasm and a hint of vengeance, tongue and teeth clashing like it was the end of the world. Then Soobin moved his robe aside and thrust up into Yeonjun in one go, eliciting a small cry from the older man. The trembling prince held on for a moment impatiently, gauging the amount of pain on his lover’s face before continuing, thrusting rough and sloppy into the sex tutor with his thick length. Soobin felt out the position after a bit and learned to use gravity to his advantage, spearing Yeonjun in his deepest spot each time.

“Ah, ah- more Binnie,” Yeonjun couldn’t hold back his cries. “You fuck me so good.” He clapped a hand to his mouth, guilty. What was this horrible feeling? Soobin looked at him like he wanted no one else in the world, his brown eyes taken over by animalistic lust. When Soobin came in him without warning, still driving his hips into Yeonjun as his warm cum coated Yeonjun’s insides. He gently lowered Yeonjun to the ground like a glass vase, sitting down beside him to pet his hair and kiss his forehead, fixing the mess he made in Yeonjun plus the mess Yeonjun made on himself. The fire in his chest slowly flickered away as he watched Soobin, caring gestures flowing easily from the prince like water.

\-----------

“Well, did he make a decision?” The emperor asked from his bed.

Jiwoo opened and closed her mouth once. “I believe so, your majesty.”

“Can he come tell me in person?” He inquired, trying to look up.

“Could- could I talk to His Majesty alone, please?” Jiwoo asked daringly. The old man considered it. “Alright, out you go, dear Seohyun, squire.” The empress and the squire left the room quickly.

Jiwoo looked around before crouching close to the emperor’s bed, speaking confidentially by his cheek, remembering the day they first met two decades ago, the newborn prince entrusted to her by his and her Majesties, barely a woman and not yet a mother. This is what she had to show for it, twenty years later.

“Your Majesty, I think the prince is in love with his sex tutor.” She confessed.

“What?” He turned slightly to look her in the eye to see if she was joking.

“Yes, the boy is kind hearted and strong, but of a commoner’s upbringing. They- they were childhood friends.” 

“What! That boy at Arin’s?” The emperor lights up with recognition.

Jiwoo nodded breathlessly. “Choi Yeonjun.”

“Well that’s unfortunate.” The emperor frowned to himself. “If it can be avoided, certainly an effort must be made.”

“Understandably so, but-” Jiwoo was ready to plead for her boy.

“There’s the empire to think about.” He reasoned, almost to himself.

\----------

Outside the door, Seohyun and her squire had their ears pressed to the door, spying.

“That’s preposterous.” She hissed, clenching her fists together. The squire looked her up and down warily.

"It's all that bastard's fault! Hasn't he dragged down my son enough already?" She put a red hand to her temple in exasperation.

"He has always been a nuisance." The squire added helpfully.

"I think I need some fresh air." The empress sighed dramatically, smoothing out the wrinkles on her forehead with her fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked it~ 🙏 feel like im writing a drama. i actually have a pretty detailed idea of the ins and outs of the actual ceremony but we'll have to wait and see if i ever write it 👁👁
> 
> hope you are all doing well! please leave some nice feedback if you have any hehe~


	30. x x x

After lunch, Xiaolong made one of his final treks through the royal palace of Korea. Having resided there for a good few weeks and fond of wandering around to scour out the infrastructure of new places, it was surprising that he hadn’t accidentally come across the temple. But at Jiwoo’s direction, he finally took the time to cross the beautiful iris garden in a secluded corner of the palace grounds, approaching a small courtyard at the end of the garden. Small hand-laid circular bricks around a limestone fountain made up the landmark for a trail that branched into two. He tilted his head to the side as he looked forward, deciding to take the narrower, grassy path to an outdoors shrine. There was a statue made of veined marble and shrouded by small golden flowers. As he looked back towards the main garden, he saw the beautiful contrast between the large violet irises and the small dots of bright yellow. 

The lack of anywhere to sit forced Xiaolong onto his knees before the statue, but it was as good a place as any other.

The boy put his hands in his lap, feeling a gentle breeze card through his brown hair. He wasn’t going to cry. Now that it’s all over and his family would at the least not hold any wrath towards him due to his cousin’s success, it all seemed so trivial. Who needs a prince? What was worth all that aggression and desperation? His shoulders were broad and his arms could fight, but Xiaolong wasn’t strong at all. He was scared.

_”Longlong, what are you crying for?”_

_“Baba says I’m not a man, he says I act like a girl. And I can’t stop crying either, just like a girl.”_

_“What’s that attitude gonna getcha? Don’t pay attention to Uncle. Come to my house and we can play.” She dragged him playfully by the sleeve and he let her, enjoying the way his older cousin- more like a sister- directed his feet, each step lighter and lighter as his tears subsided and they were simply coasting through the back forest, letting their nice clothes get caught on anything and not caring as their sandaled feet rustled through the leafy undergrowth._

_“You’ll always be here for me, right Yiren?”_

_“Of course Xiaolong.” She hugged him tightly._

Maybe it was because he always expected her to be his greatest supporter, needed her for it since they were always together, that suddenly before the prince’s uncaring eyes when they were shoulder to shoulder as competitors, Xiaolong realized he was nothing and she was everything, just the same way she was his everything. 

_”It’s okay to cry, you know. Whether you’re a boy or a girl.”_

He had been such a crybaby, and he felt less for it. Not like Yiren who never shed a tear even though she consoled him through his, who seemed every day more and more perfect as she matured. Now he's so much older, his childhood fading away and his manhood approaching faster than he could bear. His father might berate him in private, but at least the old man would be all smiles towards Yiren, who would enjoy her connections as empress and live her days in luxury. She would be a great help to their business as well as their cross-national relations.

Xiaolong felt a small smile creep onto his face. Yiren would make such a good ruler. She was frighteningly smart as well as charming and kind, and she exuded a regal air even without fancy dress. He cared much more that his beloved cousin would have a nice future than his own worries. Besides, he knew he was not suited to that kind of life anyway. He didn't want to be a merchant and he wanted to be royalty even less.

He lifted his head to look at the shine of sunlight on the marble statue, its tranquil expression seeming to smile down on him.

"I'm free." Xiaolong whispered to it.

He had to give Jiwoo-sii his thanks before he left. The man dusted the dirt off of his robes, walking back on the trail with a spring in his step. As he returned to the junction of the passages to the outdoor shrine and the temple, he heard faint murmurs drifting from the temple and grew curious. Somebody else was here after all?

He wanted to see what a foreign temple was like before he returned to China, so he stepped closer to the slightly ajar door without much thinking. Bracing a hand on the glossy red wood, he planned to peek in first to see whom he may be intruding on. If they were not busy, perhaps he could have a glance, as a visitor.

Xiaolong put one eye to the crack. Inside, a woman and a man were sitting on an ornate wooden bench, murmuring quietly to each other. She held her chin high while he held his head low in obsequience. It was the empress and some sort of subordinate, their dynamic plainly visible. Xiaolong was going to give up on the temple then, but his ears couldn't help catching their hushed words.

"You need to get rid of that ridiculous sex tutor." She said with a haughty look on her face.

"You don’t mean-?"

"I do mean. I know this kid as well as you do. He has no family, no friends, who’s going to miss him?" Xiaolong felt his stomach drop. He knew who they were talking about. He blinked and leaned his head closer in.

“He has sidetracked my son for too long, but I know Soobin well too.” Xiaolong’s eyes widened as the queen reclined back in her seat, the familiar man taking her hand and kissing along the back of it, then moved his lips up to her elbow, her bare shoulder, then finally her cold, regal cheek.

“As much as it pains me to say it, the prince is completely spineless.” She sighed between her parted red lips. “Trust me. He _will_ take the path of least resistance at any pushback."

The man trembled a bit, holding his empress' hands in both of his, kneeled at her feet. 

“Get Choi Yeonjun out of the picture. You will do it for me, won't you?” Her lips thinned into a smile.

Not realizing how far in he had leaned in straining to hear the pair, Xiaolong's weight made the squeaky temple door give a centimeter with a racquetous creak. Jumping back from the sound, Xiaolong scurried away, desperate not to be caught and his mind whirling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owo whats this?
> 
> the amount of THINKING i do for this fic i swear if i tried this hard in school id be in harvard by now
> 
> be well everyone 💖 also buckle tf down


	31. yeonjun's letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's some graphics here. if you want to read the plain test, just scroll past the image! thanks <3

<i>I didn’t think the day would come. I didn’t think… that I’d have the strength in me.</i>

And yet didn’t he? All his things were already packed. The only indication that Yeonjun ever lived in what was formerly Jiwoo’s bedroom was the set of pen, ink, and paper that he used frequently to write letters. Well, he was about to write one more.

Before that, though, Yeonjun did a bit of housekeeping. There wasn't much. From the way he had slowly encroached back into his old lifestyle, desperate to not let the palace be rubbed too much into his pores, most of the heavy lifting was mitigated. It was the finer details now, from ordering the lovely mulberry robe from his very first day, to the aquamarine one he wore to greet Soobin's suitors, to the one he shed from his shoulders now, creamy and comfortable. One by one he hung them up as neatly as they came, pretending like he was a salesman at one of those clothes boutiques he once had the pleasure of ogling through bubbled glass but not stepping foot in. 

He fished the bracelet he got from Soobin for his birthday out of a small satiny pouch, looking at the delicate way it sat in his hands.

<i>You are the person most precious to me.</i> He remembered reading on the little slip, the curves and dips of ink on paper a testimony to Soobin's care and attention, sitting at his desk with a slight hunch and a furrow of his brow, pursing his lips together in concentration, his body posed as he spilled his earnest sentiments onto paper while Yeonjun reclused in his room, overcome with his own shame.

Yeonjun smiled sadly. It would never be true. It shouldn't be. Simply by nature, Soobin was the most precious person in all the empire. If the world revolved around him- the way Yeonjun's did, his thin fluttering moth wings pinned and pliant under the prince's gentle hand- it would be the first truth of those cosmological maps the astronomers put all their resources into cooking up.

Yeonjun looked out the window, the quiet blanket of night wrapping around him as he wrote his own death sentence. Soobin was probably talking to Yiren. Yeonjun set the bracelet in the corner of his desk and didn’t touch it after that. He took out the prettiest leaf of paper he had. He began to write.

  


\-------------

Dear Soobin,

I don’t want to say anything that hurts you, but that might be impossible since my own heart already aches. To you, who has saved me from myself countless times, I am forever in debt. Now is the end of our companionship and the beginning of your new one. Did that hurt to read? I’m sorry if I’ve gone against my word. 

I’m sorry and gleeful at the same time because it means our time spent together was not for naught, that I perhaps left some impression of myself in your beautiful mind. Sometimes memories are even more lovely than reality, right? Well, I want to be a beautiful memory that takes its dwelling in the room in your head. Then the eternally youthful, immortal me may still measure up to the grander sights you will see. 

Ah, my desperation is seeping into the paper. I am not beautiful and I never was. The truth is I am entirely ordinary, and it was the greatest gift of my life to have known you so deeply. I don't know if I want to put a lighter to the braided fibers of the rope that binds us together or evilly leave it be, have it chaffe our wrists red and raw with each move we make. Enough of me knows the fate of us well enough to execute it.

I want to say many things, all of them naked truths threatening to fill pages of ink, but with my minimal expertise in writing I will try to condense it into one.

I will be living on your land and reaping its harvest, still. I will witness the life you bring to this great nation, still. I will be your devoted lamb, still. In these wonderful ways, we can continue to share some part of our lives, still. 

And I will love you, still.

But love is without foundation; it goes on wheels to wherever you are and charges no fare, so I can only thank you again, sincerely, for equipping me with a full heart, but I have yet more to go on my journey and so do you. I'd say "See you again," but it's best that neither of us would rather such a thing anymore.

Choi Yeonjun

\-----------

Yeonjun sniffed deeply and put the pen away. His job was done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that i tried pretty hard to make it good but... well. it could always be better, is what I've been thinking about all my art for around a month or so. still, i tried hard, so i hope you like reading through!
> 
> be safe and be well <3

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my long awaited return (to fanfic writing)!!! Surely everyone in this fandom, who I am a stranger to, has missed me dearly since months and months ago. Should I post once a week? Twice? I appreciate any feedback and love <3
> 
> Seriously I fell in love with TXT... but I won't write fanfiction about the younger babies, they are too small for me to sully.
> 
> ***i am leaving my original notes here but your comments are seriously funny when you address this ending note which i wrote at the very beginning of this fic xD still, my upload schedule is not too bad right? thank you for reading through~ it means a lot.


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